light-hearted but extremely low-budget caper from British cocksman-cum-director
Omar, our "hero" finds himself a job as a sex toy sales rep, providing
plenty of scope for easy laughs and highly predictable encounters with
Omar picks up an ad for a job as a door-to-door salesman, selling sex
toys. Accompanied by his trusty cameraman, Burt, he meets with the boss,
Simone, at her house and is soon being tested on his sales technique,
which will rely heavily on supplying clients with a little something extra
(or more accurately a big something extra). The slim brunette slips off
her blouse and bra and Omar licks her tiny tits. Burt lurches in for an
up skirt close up, though the picture is too dark, and she bends over
to blow Omar. In turn, he takes her from behind, but though her backside
is quite inviting, generally I think that Simone isn't particularly attractive
- though the weak colour doesn't aid her unhealthy pale complexion. When
she's on top it's clear she's just a little on the thin side for my taste,
but at least she fucks away with some energy.
Omar picks her up and fucks her, and then puts her on a chair for some
deep missionary sex, her legs waving still clad in her clunky-heeled calf-length
boots. Simone is panting noticeably during a break for a quick BJ, and
then Omar resumes a steady pace. Burt's knob appears in shot, and Omar
takes a break while Simone intently sucks Burt till he comes on her face.
Omar then spurts a sizeable load over her features too. Simone sucks him
sexily after, but I can't say I was overly impressed with her performance.
The scene is also spoiled by excessively dull and graniny picture quality.
Despatched on his first job, Omar calls on Becky. Now, the first thing
that strikes me when this decidedly plump, homely-looking blonde opens
the door is this: why does Omar, a good-looking, well-spoken guy with
a good sense of humour, spend his working life (and I mean this in the
real sense, not just the character on screen) knobbing such unattractive
women? I am sure he could do a hell of a lot better. Given that he's the
producer, director and so on, I wonder why he decides to hire a girl like
Becky. Even if we're talking about fitting in with the "randy housewives"
style of these low-rent movies, and even with the limited resources of
the UK porn scene, surely he could hire some young shapely sexpot.
Once again I find myself skirting around the issue because I have no desire
to insult this girl, but the fact remains that Becky looks infinitely
better with her clothes on, and that's not saying much! Suffice to say
that she is not in good shape at all - please take this as a strong hint
to avoid this scene unless you like 'em flabby. The deal is that she's
more interested in his cock than the sex toys and so she whips it out,
sucks him and they fuck. The sex follows a similar form to the preceding
scene, and Burt jumps in for a quick BJ before the pair unload on Becky's
face. Omar even bravely lets the hefty lass go on top at one stage. She's
not very active but is quite noisy - not very important really when it's
so hard to watch. There's not one single angle that flatters her wobbly
body - I am sorry, I truly hate to be cruel but this is simply ghastly.
Having had to do a runner (yet again!) when Becky's husband turns up,
Omar and Burt find themselves on another scruffy housing estate in the
home of nail artist Chantelle - another buxom blonde, though in considerably
better shape than Becky. She's got quite a pleasant manner, at least,
but again she is definitely not my type, if there is such a thing. As
I am pondering what my type is, Chantelle provides evidence of what it
isn't. Bleach blonde, lank hair, too much make up, tattoos - not really
for me, thanks very much.
Chantelle does look naughty when she's sucking on Omar's cock - again,
the lady prefers the real thing to the toys on offer. She treats Omar
to a tit fuck before he starts spearing her in mish. There's better chemistry
here - she actually reacts to the sex like she's really feeling something
- but I just don't find her attractive, and that's the problem. Her boyfriend
wanders in and wonders what's going on. Not exactly observant, is he?
Chantelle just growls at him to get his cock out, which he does. This
is crudely amusing - Omar introduces himself to the bewildered newcomer
as they top and tail his missus. Again, they fuck on to no great effect
- it's hardly startling stuff. The boyfriend (who seems unable to get
it up and does no more than get his dick sucked) warns Omar and Burt not
to come on her face. Of course, what do they do? Spurt all over Chantelle's
face. Cue another swift exit, enforced by another angry bloke!
Omar and the lecherous Burt try their luck in some apartments and find
curvy little cutie Suzie (who you may recognize from work for Joey Silvera
in LA) home alone. Once more the action follows the pattern of a horny
girl preferring the real thing to the sex toys, and poor old Omar has
to oblige. While I can imagine Omar finds it easier to rise to the occasion
for Suzie, I am less convinced. Hey, I know this is getting boring, but
I don't fancy her either.
Suzie is at least younger, cuter and in much better shape than the others,
and she seems positively delighted, disbelieving almost, with what she
finds in Omar's trousers. She gives him a nice suck - it's quite sexy
to see her trying to fit it in her little mouth - and then bounces away
in his lap, her short denim skirt round her waist and her soft tits peeking
out over her top. They get into mish, but Burt, who growls away like a
caveman, blocks his own light, making it hard to see what's going on.
Not clever. The sex is again quite underwhelming as Omar fucks Suzie in
doggy and then lets her go on top, before she takes Burt's tattooed cock
(yes, a tattoo on his cock - that would bring a tear to a glass eye!)
in her mouth. Both guys douse her face in come when there's a knock at
her door - it's her dad. Cue another comedy getaway.
Not having seen much of this series, I was again surprised and disappointed
that Sex Toy Party sees Omar setting up the scenes quite well with a cheekily
humorous approach, but then reverting to extremely standard porno sex
during the action. It's a shame that he doesn't carry the good mood on
during the fucking. That's not to say, however, that it's mean-spirited.
Quite the reverse - there's a complete absence of malice, it's all good
dirty fun, but what disappoints me is that the actual sex doesn't maintain
any sense of exuberance or excitement. Though the mood each time is initially
light hearted and playful, there's no kissing, no chat or anything to
suggest that's its anything other than sex for cash.
The cast are also lacking in terms of looks - again, if Omar wants to
spend his time screwing very ordinary women, that's fine, and while I
appreciate there's an audience for this sort of thing, I am not in their
number. If Omar could approach the same cheeky, naughty, easy-going style
but with much more attractive and enthusiastic performers, I'd be much
more interested. I'm sure he has hired better girls on other occasions
but as it stands, Sex Toy Party is a cheap little movie with little to
Generally weak colour, excessively dark interior shots and a grainy picture
add up to a cheap looking DVD as far as the picture quality is concerned.
It's all a bit dull and frequently hard to see what's going on when the
camera is inspecting more intimate areas. In fact, some angles are rendered
quite useless. Definitely "lacking". The extras are limited to a photo
gallery and what I thought was going to be a selection of trailers, but
is in fact a static image. Cheapskates! Very poor.