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The opinions expressed in this review of Big Clits Big Lips from Channel 69 are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.
I was intrigued by the title of this movie, not just because I delight in big clits but because I couldn't imagine how the producers set about casting it. Are there, I wondered, talent agencies whose index cards read, "38-27-37, clitoris 3 centimetres?"
Clearly, no such thing. They trawled a pond, threw back the best-looking pussies and shot their film with the rest.
Not that the title is misleading. The stars of this movie indeed have enormous clits, and pussy lips like bat wings. One by one, they present themselves - lying back naked, legs spread, pussies agape. For a while they stretch them, stroke them and pop out their clits, until some unfortunate looking guy arrives and sticks his cock into the accomodation offered - a thing I wouldn't have done on a bet. Oh yes, for those interested in breasts (and why not indeed?) they are mostly large, hanging somewhere about the bottom of the rib-cage.
There is no point in describing separate scenes. They are all the same: some missionary thrusting, followed by some doggie-style. In the first scene, the guy does actually get to cum, on the woman's pussy. In subsequent scenes, he doesn't even achieve that before we are whisked away to another presentation of another pussy. The monotony is stupefying.
It was relieved only twice. First by a woman who, rather ironically perhaps, couldn't get it up - which is to say that, rub and scour as she might, she could not make her clit erect. To compensate, she spread her pussy lips. Should you ever forget your umbrella, they would safely protect you from the rain. But then, to compensate, one of the other women had a clit like a miniature penis. Really. It had a shaft at least an inch long, and on the end was an actual glans. Not much of a cock, but an astonishing clit.
And then there was one, just the one, young and very pretty girl - almost as if the director, like the Captain of The Hesperus, "had brought his little daughter, to keep him company." Unfortunately, she had very little to do. Her only thing was to sit on a chair while the main woman in the scene knelt in front of her and (presumably) lapped her pussy. "Presumably" because it never occurred to the cameraman to shoot anything except the hideous rear elevation of the woman doing the eating.
I hope that, in describing this film, I have encouraged those who will like it. Those who, like myself, will be disappointed, will know what to expect.
I was too scared to use the zoom on my control, and I never bothered to check any special features on the disc. I left it in someone's dumpster.