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Best By Private 39: Cum in My Bum

Best By Private 39: Cum in My Bum

Studio: Private
Category:  Anal , Compilation , Cream Pies
Starring: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD RentStreaming/Download
MLyons's ratings for Best By Private 39: Cum in My Bum:
Overall Rating 2 stars
Best By Private 39: Cum in My Bum overall rating 2 stars
Female Looks Best By Private 39: Cum in My Bum Female looks rating 4 stars
Male Looks Best By Private 39: Cum in My Bum Male looks rating 3 stars
Sex Best By Private 39: Cum in My Bum Sex rating 2.5 stars
Plot/Acting Best By Private 39: Cum in My Bum Plot/Acting rating 0 stars
Extras Best By Private 39: Cum in My Bum DVD Extras rating 2 stars
Audio/Video Quality Best By Private 39: Cum in My Bum A/V Quality rating 3 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by MLyons  on  4/11/2003
Cum in my Bum

Mike Lyons Reviews    


Lynn Stone, Julia, Carol, Camilla, Dora Venter, Agnes, Sandra, J.P. Armand, David Perry, Robert Rosenberg, George, Christoph Clark, Ian Scott, Pascal St. James, Jpx, Nacho Vidal, 

Compilation, Anal, Eurobabes.

Varies--for the most part both video and audio are good.  There are some older scenes here, however, that don't live up to Private's new standard.

Cast Videographies, Still Photos, Scene breakdown, Trailers.

Varies--forgettable porn music throughout.

DVD Format
1 Single Sided Single Layer Disc

Female Orgasms

Those who like beautiful Euro-girls, in fairly low key hard core sex scenes.  Those who enjoy Private's "The Best" series of compilations.

Those looking for anal cream pies.  Fans of harder, enthusiastic sex.  Anyone looking for surgically "enhanced" boobies.

Other Private compilation series.  Movies by Antonio Adamo.

Mike Lyons' Porn Tastes

Although my reviews are very subjective and my tastes will become apparent to those that read them, this list is intended as a quick reference to Mike Lyons so the reader may quickly asses where he/she differs from my personal porn preferences. I hesitate to classify myself as a raincoater, as that term sometimes implies porn preferences that I do not possess. However, I will admit to being a "pervert with raincoater tendencies", especially when it comes to my love of what I call "dominant sex with a conscience." The following is a non-definitive list of some of my most prevalent likes, dislikes, and Indifferences:

  • Small bodied, young looking (but not necessarily barely legal) girls
  • Good Performers
  • Attractive women. No matter how good a performer, if I don't find her attractive, my interest is lost
  • Sexy outfits, and I love it when they, or parts of them, remain ON while the performers are having sex.
  • Anal
  • Female orgasms
  • Good Lighting and Videography
  • Facials
  • Dirty Talk--Most notably when interactive between man and woman (i.e. when both are into it)
  • I really like sex that has themes of domination, where both participants are into it. This includes:
    • Spanking
    • Deep Throat
    • Light Gagging
    • Hair Pulling
    • HOWEVER--See Below!
  • I dislike sex with physical overtones of rape--including acts like:
    • Face and Breast Slapping
    • Choking
    • Puking
    • Unerotic Sexual Endurance Tests (i.e. Max Hardcore, Gag Factor)
  • Sex scenes with more than two participants (There's always room for exceptions, however)
  • DPs, DAPs, or DPPs
  • Any Kind of Breast "Enhancement"
  • Excessive Tattoos and Piercings
  • Music that Masks Performers' Voices
  • Anal Gaping (I don't get it...)
  • Plot (It can get in the way, but it can also be amazing)
  • Swallowing. (I like it but I don't need fiber-optic mouth close-ups and signed affidavits for proof that the act occurred.)

Mike Lyons' Porn Tastes subject to revision without notice!!



This is a "Mike Lyons Quickie" review.  I will do "Quickies" when for one reason or another, I don't want to do a full review for a title.  Hopefully, in this way, my reviews will still remain fun for me, and informative for those who read them.  Comments or suggestions? Please email me.

This is a "2nd Age" Private compilation, although it might very well include scenes from Private's first age.  The theme centers around, you guessed it, anal sex and what I assume will be cum shots in or around that area. I picked this up out of curiosity for what Private's been up to lately.  From the look of the menus alone, this is a pretty slick little package, and the girls do look quite nice.  There's nothing special about the extra materials, but it does have a breakdown of the scenes, what movies they originated from as well as the performers in that scene.  This is a handy dandy feature that makes cast identification much easier.  The 2nd Age Private can be hit or miss with me, but one thing I usually count on is beautiful women.  I have to admit, I could use a little of that right now, so without further delay...


SCENE 1: From Private Reality 6: Dangerous Games -- Dir. Tom Harold
The Action
Girl-Girl, Dual cock sucking, RCG (Carol), CG (Julia), Doggy (Carol), Doggy-Anal (Julia), Cumshot (beware of post production tricks & looping) (partial facial--Carol).

The Gist
This is a relatively short little scene.  The premise is that a man sees two hotties on a train and starts to fantasize about fucking them in the ass.  He only follows through on the anal with the brunette, but both these girls are quite sexy.  I greatly prefer fixing my gaze on Carol (a wonderfully natural bodied blonde) rather than Julia (a nice looking brunette with short hair), but both are not bad to look at in their leopard skin print stockings.  Although it did have some nice eye candy, there was nothing fantastically special about this scene.  It kept me hard, but it didn't give me that ever elusive "must cum NOW" feeling by any stretch.


SCENE 2: From Matador 7: Avalanche -- Dir. Jean Yves Lecastel
The Action

Cock sucking, CG, CG-Anal, Cocksucking, RCG-Anal (w/ gaping), Doggy-Anal (w/ gaping), Cumshot (beware of post production tricks & looping) (on/in ass), Post-Cum Head.

The Gist
Camilla is a very slender blonde who has my kinda body.  At first she's covering it up with a big winter sweater (which is actually quite a refreshing costume choice), but it comes off soon enough, and for me, she's really nice to look at.  Unfortunately looks are really all this scene has going for it.  There isn't much chemistry demonstrated at all (which I find is often the case with scenes that include David Perry).  The premise is that these are two people fucking at a ski-resort.  That premise gives way to a concentration on gaping in short order though, and I'm not a big fan of that practice so despite Camilla's nice body, I did tend to get bored as the scene progressed.  It seems that Private has seen fit to alter the original scenes and they have added some sort of coloring effect to the cumshots of both the first two scenes.  Since the cumshot is the last thing you should fuck with when doing fancy post-production tricks, I frown heavily on this, and I expect that many people will find it incredibly annoying.  In any case, this was a ho-hum scene that interested me only because I enjoyed looking at Camilla's pretty body.


SCENE 3: From Dark Side 2: The Secret of the Stone -- Dir. Antonio Adamo
The Action
Kissing, Pussy-licking, Cocksucking, RCG, Spoon (Adamo Style), Brief feet-fucking, Spoon-Anal, RCG Anal, Doggy-Anal, Cumshot (beware of post-production tricks & looping) (on ass), Post-Cum Head.

The Gist
As this is an Antonio Adamo scene, it is pretty much what I expected it to be--which is to say, death warmed over.  Aside from a brief interest in Adamo's work in Italian Flair for the pure visual spectacle of it, I am decidedly unimpressed with Adamo's antiseptic, over-directed, go-through-the-motions style.  This scene is no exception to his lifeless take on pornography, and what it lacks in emotion and energy, it absolutely doesn't make up for in good visual spectacle.  There were some brief moments of interest in this scene at the beginning when some nice kissing and body exploration were on tap, but that gave way to Adamo's rote conventions soon enough.  Lynn Stone looks quite nice here with a nice body and her pretty mid-length blonde hair, and Christoph is a good male talent.  They get through the scene like professionals with a Adamo's signature backdrop of soft lighting and heavy handed camera filters, but ultimately I was bored to tears.


SCENE 4: From Sex Opera -- Dir. Antonio Adamo
The Action
Pussy licking, Cock sucking, RCG, Missionary, Missionary-Anal, Doggy-Anal, Cumshot (beware of post production tricks & looping) (on ass).

The Gist

Dora is decidedly more attractive to me than Lynn Stone was in the last scene.  She has curly blonde hair and a fantastic tight little body.  This alone raises the visual aesthetic factor of the scene enough to make Antonio Adamo's direction bearable for me.  Aside from my greater attraction to Dora's body, I'm also much more attracted to her performance, as she actually expresses herself in this scene (which is surprisingly not dubbed, as is the case with most of the scenes on this disc so far), and there does seem to be some modicum of heat generated between her and Ian--even if it is only fleeting.  The camera filters were blessedly absent from this scene, but there was a little frame-skipping and some jumps to black and white just to keep things interesting.  I didn't mind that here though, as Dora just looked really fantastic to me.  Overall, this scene was enough to get me hard, but not really enough to do more than that.  Also I've said it before and I'll say it again, the post production color filtering they've added to this compilation on the cumshots is just unacceptably stupid.  And then there' s always the fact that I kinda like facials, and although I can't hold that against this one given its up front advertising in the very name of the title, I can find fault with the fact that most of the cumshots so far have not been IN the ass...  they've been ON it.  I don't really care, but despite what Private may think, many very vocal anal-cream pie lovers do


SCENE 5: From No Sun, No Fun -- Dir. Pierre Woodman
The Action
Cocksucking-missionary, Cocksucking-Doggy, Cocksucking-RCG-Anal, Spoon-DP, Prone-Anal (Over Large piece of Drift-wood--pretty cool!), Cumshots (beware of post production tricks & looping) (facial, on/in ass).

The Gist

This is an interesting change of pace from the Adamo fair.  This scene comes from what I call the 1st Age of Private, and is directed by Pierre Woodman.  The video quality speaks of older footage, and this lacks the slick stylings of most of today's offerings from Private.  This is good and bad.  The good is that it offers a better opportunity for the performers to express themselves in a natural way.  The bad is that sometimes the lack of refined production elements can detract from the heat of a scene.  In this case, Agnes is fairly attractive, but I wasn't really able to get a good look at her because of the camera-work choices made--which tended to concentrate on close-ups rather than variety.  In the performance department, this looked like a scene with two men who had erection problems going through the motions with a girl who was hardly participating.  The best moment of the scene for me was an interesting anal position where Agnes was laid out in kind of a half prone position on a piece of beach drift-wood.  It was very sexy to me in a purely visual way, but that was certainly not enough to carry the scene for me.  All in all this was par for the course with regard to Pierre Woodman--it was a more human scene than much of what Adamo offers, but in its own way, it was still just as bland.  


SCENE 6: From The Final Truth -- Dir. Antonio Adamo
The Action
Undressing/breast licking, etc., Cocksucking, RCG, Doggy-Anal, Missionary-Anal, Cumshot (beware of post production tricks & looping) (on ass).

The Gist

To me, Lynn looks a might bit better here than she did in her previous scene on this disc, although I can't exactly say why.  Regardless though, leave it to Adamo to take two able bodied performers and methodically sap as much life out of them as possible.  Even so, there are moments when Nacho and Lynn seem to connect here and there, but again, these fleeting moments really aren't worth the trouble.  Lynn has a sexy little sparkly outfit on, though, and unfortunately it disappears too quickly.  I really can't think of much more good or bad to say about this pairing.  After all is said and done, this is another decidedly mundane scene for a decidedly mundane compilation.


SCENE 7: From Matador 4: Anal Garden -- Dir. Jean Yves Lecastel
The Action
Pussy Licking, Tri-Cock Sucking, CG-Cocksucking, Doggy-DP, Missionary-Anal, Doggy-Anal (multiple guys in succession), Gaping, Cumshots (beware of post production tricks & looping) (on ass, facials).

The Gist
Although only by a very narrow margin, I think I can say that this was my favorite scene of the movie.  While I still think it was fairly mediocre, I found a lot more to like here than I did in most of the other scenes--largely because it actually appealed to some of my more pronounced porn tastes.  There was some purely situational dominance here that I really enjoyed, particularly with regard to the doggy-anal round robin that rounded out the last third of the scene.  I admit that Sandra didn't look too comfortable in her doggy position on what looked to be a stone picnic table, but it was really sexy to watch her get ass-fucked in succession by three guys.  Sandra is not the prettiest girl on this disc, but she was pretty enough by my tastes.  She's a thin, low-key brunette with a nice natural body.  The guys portrayed at least the illusion of having a little fun, and there was a good couple of facials to add to the mandatory ass cumshot.  All that said, even though it was in my estimation the most interesting scene on the disc, it was still pretty erotically vacant in comparison to what I normally most enjoy.


There really isn't much to say about this compilation except that--well--it's there.  There's some stuff here that many people will like.  The girls are all very pretty, most notably Dora Venter, Carol, and Camilla, and in some cases they are made up extremely well.  The sex is shot at decidedly unconventional locations (including a couple of outdoor scenes), and for the most part, it is nicely captured.  On the other hand, the disc is all but void of any kind of emotional enthusiasm or authentic energy.  What's more, the title "Cum in my Bum" is no doubt going to disappoint many fans who are hoping to see some anal cream pies.  I'm not personally into cream pies, but I still consider it false advertising.  The disc is slickly produced in the 2nd Age Private fashion, but in the cases of the post-production altered cum shots it was far too overproduced for my liking.  I imagine that fans of the newer Private, and of beautiful natural girls might find something to like about this compilation, but if you're into anything other than Private's unique brand of "softcore", hardcore sex, I don't know that there's much here worth shelling out money for.

Questions or constructive comments about this review? Email me at

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