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Belladonna: The ConnASSeur

Belladonna: The ConnASSeur

Studio: Evil Angel
Category:  Straight
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
Narcolepsy's ratings for Belladonna: The ConnASSeur:
Overall Rating 4.5 stars
Belladonna: The ConnASSeur overall rating 4.5 stars
Female Looks Belladonna: The ConnASSeur Female looks rating 4 stars
Male Looks Belladonna: The ConnASSeur Female looks rating 0 stars
Sex Belladonna: The ConnASSeur Sex rating 5 stars
Plot/Acting Belladonna: The ConnASSeur Plot/Acting rating 0 stars
Extras Belladonna: The ConnASSeur DVD Extras rating 5 stars
Audio/Video Quality Belladonna: The ConnASSeur A/V Quality rating 4 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by Narcolepsy  on  5/25/2004
Ooooooookay so, I loooooooved Belladonna's last movie so much (Evil Pink) that I just had to see her new movie, despite the title. The pronounced 'ASS' being smack dab in the middle, and I'm not too into anal, but I'm way into Bella, so maybe I'll be able to overlook the whole anal thing.

The thing about this chick performing with women (I mainly watch all-girl) is that seemingly everytime she has a woman, its as if she's seeing a naked girl for the absolute first time. She's always in total awe by the woman's body and even more in awe by her pussy and she maintains her intensity and her scenes usually become a song full of staccato bursts which more times in not result in an excellent scene, but even if they don't all the time, she always and I mean ALWAYS appears to have a truly good time, and appears to be at the very least, a true hardcore bisexual.

I think Bella may have spent a little too much time with the Jameson's when she did Jenna's 'little' movie because the opening sequence on this one (which is also the trailer) is about as dark and shady as it gets and brings on one of the biggest questions of the movie- Exactly what the hell is a Silky Thumper?

The movie starts with Bella laying down a saucer of milk for her evil sloppy friend (Catalina). The two are in a pretty nice kitchen with the great stainless steel fridge (which I just got one myself, and its amazing, you need the stainless steel huge fridge if you love food), and wearing very out of place. . . gothic wear huge space boots! The strap out comes out pretty early here and you get to see the fetish side of Bella which consists of her dipping it into the milk and allowing Catalina to suck it off, and then flat out having her wash the floor with soap and water! Catalina, who I've seen once or twice over the years is pretty disturbing, luckily she never really gets into the things that make her so disturbing (i.e. talking). Soon its time for some actual sex and the crazy toys come out. Catalina takes one of the most textured dildos you'll see anywhere up her ass, followed by the more 'traditional' spiraled glass toy. The highlight here is when Bella completely abandons the toys and just works over Catalina with her hands, great close-ups of Catalina's pussy which is probably her best physical attribute and of course they are who they are so Bella wastes no time shoving a hand up Catalina's ass. Some strap on anal to boot and there's your scene. I'm not really into Catalina, but might I consider this her most impressive performance to me, not too shabby for an opener.

Between scenes you get a preview of the inevitable final scene which consists of one really hot looking woman with dark hair who looks like she could be Bella's older sister (slightly older) spying on another who just happens to be in a cage. . . dry humping a huge carnival pink teddy bear and blowing bubbles and sleeping. (yeah all of that)

Next scene is the scene of the movie and almost makes me forget about the final two just downright odd ones. We have Bella (yayyyyyy) and Ariana Jollee, who I've only scene in a g/g Vivid movie called Whatever it Takes, and fucking a "retard" (her words not mine)in a Mary Carey movie, and despite the 'horror' stories I hear from some of her scenes which would probably burn my poor wittle eyes, I would classify her as - CUTE. This scene is rip-roaring (yes i did say rip and roaring) fun from the get go, nice kissing between the two and some good 'old fashion' pussy slapping for Ariana. Doesn't take long for Bella to go after that pussy, which is very very nice might be the best looking pussy in the movie if Holly Hollywood wasn't somewhere in here. The hottest thing about this one is that Bella can't do anything wrong here, just about everything is fair game for Jollee, Bella even licks her armpit for awhile and then kisses her (we do need more APTM in porn, I mean really, talk about unexplored genre). The highlight here for me is the beautiful connection the two have with each other from the way they look into each others eyes (while Bellas being choked) to the way she says "Please" while Ariana's teasing her pussy. Of course, if you watch this scene you'll probably come away with the thought that the true highlight is the dildo covered baseball bat that each takes up the ass. The thing is about as big as a. . . I don't like a baseball bat or something, and the dildo cover is over the top half and it has inch marks on it (this is how closely I watched, Ariana took it to the 4 inch mark, Bella goes to about 5 and a half). Of course (now where the hell is my gold star?) this is too much for me, but if you love anal, this might explode your head or something. Bella gapes herself with the bat and all that (never liked gaping, I like to fuck, not fuck-stop, fuck-stop, fuck-stop) but its something for everyone here, when taking the bat up the ass, Bella even gags herself, with her foot! All of that is fairly excusable to me, Bella's hot, Ariana's hot and they mix in enough great kissing and pussy eating for me, they start the scene in gstring overalls and end COMPLETELY NAKED, everybody cums and there will be no complaining from me. AMAZING! (Incidentally I just got back from Roseau and a few of the lighter skinned women there look like Ariana facially, so i looked at a couple of houses)

Next is probably the funnest scene of the movie. Holly Hollywood and Charmane star team up to come together and successfully dryhump giant carnival teddy bears. (Bella you have some strange ass fetishes woman) They just hump the bears as a no face having friend lends a hand here and there from off camera, incidentally the friend has the exact same 'bebe' that Bella has on her hand (hmmmmm?). The highlight here is that our off camera friend dildo fucks both girls at the same time as they sprawl all over each other. Little rimming between the stars here, little footplay and the hand never lets them go at on their on own. Who cares? Now I'll admit had this been a guy adding his hand to an all-girl scene, I'd still be screaming bloody murder, but its not, its 'Bella' and in Meland she was just so turned on by the 2 that she had to get in there in some way. Everyone has fun, everyone cums and its an excellent scene.

Enter the weirdness: Next up is only unidentifiable face in this one for me, which automatically makes her the infamous 'Silky Thumper' eating an ice cream cone in the wilderness much like one might think a fairy tale named porn star might be doing with her free time, in her school girl outfit, on a seemingly never ending flight of stone stairs and if thats your fetish then (damn you got in the wrong line when they were passing out fetishes) happy jacking! Being spied on by Bella eating ice cream, not a bad job if you can get it, eventually Bella joins Silky and partakes in the ice cream and we get some semblence of an actual scene. While a ton (and I do mean a ton) of this scene is spent on watching the girls 'chase' each other up the stairs (which I admit is pretty damn hot) eventually you get into Bella's darker side which is highlighted by some peeing by Silky and Bella taking a dive on her immediately thereafter. Bella gets toy fucked while hanging in a tree (monkey style?) Bella takes what amounts to a glass bowling pin in her pussy to end the scene. Still basking in the glow of the second scene, I don't give a fuck what she does here and its not all crazy either.

What is all crazy is the final scene which features Katrina Kraven and Ashley Blue. Katrina I remember from the the truly bad Girl Crazy 2 (which was directed by John Darkko the same guy who worked camera for this one (and he appears on the BTS and apparently he doesn't own clothes that aren't black, thus the name, but he does a better job here) and she's very very hot, Blue I know most recently from her own violation video. The craziness shows up as soon as this one starts. As Katrina enters the dungeon where Ashley Blue and calls the crying prisoner to the bars, Ashley starts. . . peeing herself, after which of course she wipes herself with her hand and performs her signature manuever of shoving her entire hand in her mouth. Katrina leads a less afraid Blue to another smaller cell and this is where most of the scene takes place. They spit all over each other ('highlighted' by Blue giving a truly huge face shower to Katrina) things get very very anal, with toys, lots of toys go directly from this ass to that mouth and vice-versa. The highlight for me in this one is when Blue finally takes off Katrina's shorts revealing not only a string of anal beads (which is visible throughout the scene by virtue of the final bead hanging out)but also that grade A ass and pussy. Blue candlewaxes that ass and leaves Katrina with a "Later Bitch" as Katrina is bound in. . . one of those things that has a person's head and two hands sticking out the other side, I forget its actual name, but ya know it. Movie over, STILL BASKING IN THE GLOW of the second scene, I still don't care!

Okay the rest of the dvd, this DVD is put together so fantastic, there are nearly 50 chapter stops (49) through the 5 scenes and title sequences, an 'extra footage' feature which features. . . extra stuff. And a BTS, now lets talk about the BTS which has about the single hottest moment of the movie. You also (and this isn't it) get to meet a guy who I just know is Bella's brother (he looks like a male version of her, wide-faced and all) who's on his first porn set and admits that its "kinda lame" and that he's just a "little Mormon kid from Utah". Another hot moment is when Bella is putting the aforementioned anal beads into Katrina and Katrina almost gets off on it. But fuck all that, the hottest part of this entire BTS (which has 4 breaks itself) and the entire DVD is the outtake from Bella's scene with Ariana Jollee. It looks like something from the less formal Evil Pink where Bella talked to just about anyone that would listen. She eyes Ariana's deliciously teeny clit and goes to work on it. Eventually she works Jollee over so well that Ariana whispers "Can I take you home with me?". And it brings a tear to my eye its so beautiful, and if that doesn't do anything for you, you might want to go watch a man have an orgasm. (Just my suggestion)

2 hot scenes, one downright brilliant scene and 2 weird ones, that plus Bella working the board, BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO!

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