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Bacon Love

Studio: Lava Releasing
Category:  Big Women
Directed by:
Starring: , , , ,
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Primo Matarazzo's ratings for Bacon Love:
Overall Rating 3 stars
Bacon Love overall rating 3 stars
Female Looks Bacon Love Female looks rating 3 stars
Male Looks Bacon Love Male looks rating 2.5 stars
Sex Bacon Love Sex rating 3 stars
 
Plot/Acting Bacon Love Plot/Acting rating 0 stars
Extras Bacon Love DVD Extras rating 0 stars
Audio/Video Quality Bacon Love A/V Quality rating 3 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by Primo Matarazzo  on  7/12/2006

Fish Don’t Fry in the Kitchen, Beans Don’t Burn on the Grill…

Bacon Love

2005, 1 hours and 51 minutes (released 7/21/2005)
Cobra-Digital
Directed by Oscar Myer
Starring Poison, Zenova Braeden, Kimmy Lee, Misty Mendez & Samantha Fox



What You Should Know:
This might be the movie you never find. The movie you never thought you’d want to see. The movie that even the performers who are in it might not want you to find and thought you’d never want to see. They don’t want you to see it, know that they’re in it or know of it’s existence. But that’s where I come in. You can’t hide from me, chubby chasers -- I know where to find you! You have to laugh out loud at just how unapologetically offensive the title is, first of all. A lot of “BBW” titles have the words “fat”, “chunky” or whatever in them, but Cobra Digital just said “fuck it” and called their joint Bacon Love and you still totally “get” from the title what it’s all about. Nah, these hoes don’t actually love bacon (though I’m sure none of them have ever pushed it off of their plate or tossed strips off their burgers) they love dick, but they’re approaching “porker” status if they ain’t already there. I wonder how many of them were the told the title before they committed their scenes to video. The director, whoever he may actually be, even took the pseudonym “Oscar Myer” for this one movie to make the joke complete, however lame that name may be. I initially copped this flick to see a fave of mine, Misty Mendez was up to and to see what one of my partners was hollering about because the man is in lust with Kimmy Lee. But lo and behold, the rest of the cast ain’t so bad, either. I actually dig on creamy Zenova Braeden’s chunky pale ass and Poison brought some seldom-seen intensity to her scene. There are some legitimate and genuine surprises to be found in this sea of grease if big beautiful women are your fetish.
Scene One: Poison with Andrew Andretti


Introduced in the credits and on the boxcover as a “plumper sensation”, Poison mashes her tits together and runs her fingers through her slick pink pussy, running her tongue over her lips repeatedly and talking directly to the camera. She provides breathy dirty talk and moans lustily about wanting you to fuck her tits, fuck her pussy and how much she can’t wait to suck cock. Appearance-wise, you can find Poison in any barrio: the thin penciled-in eyebrows, a caked-on mask of too much foundation, lipstick drawn way outside of her lips, long wavy hair and nails that’d give Freddy Krueger nightmares. Andrew Andretti finally fills her mouth with hard dick to shut her up and fulfill her wishes. Poison actually sucks a hellafied good dick (surprise, surprise) but not because she’s overweight as the myth goes but because she has a pair of full and sexy lips and a talented tongue that she knows just how to use. She might be in the body of a 200-pound plus girl but she makes everything she does look exceptional because of her enthusiasm and over-the-top actress-y zest. After a rough tit-fuck, Andretti semi-tosses Poison onto the bed behind them and slips his dick in her oversized twat. The position is missionary but Poison is on on her side and opened up to face the camera rather than flat on her back so that viewers can see all of her body, the penetration and her big pierced plumper tits flopping around. Poison takes several breaks to suck Andrew’s cock in between positions and kicks off her high heels before mounting him cowgirl and then reverse. If nothing else, Poison sucks a MEAN dick, I will say that. That and she’s very vocal. She’s “present” during the scene whereas you may find most girls her size tend to be somewhere else and not very pro-active. Poison is the exact opposite, going down on Andrew’s dick like she were dying and his cock were life support. ”Oh, you’re gonna make me cum…oooh, you’re gonna make me cum…” she moans as Andretti socks it to her spoon. A POV angle of Andy fucking her pushed-together tits and Poison looking directly up at you as she fuckin’ DEVOURS the head of his dick (goddamn, this chica can BLOW) is the last thing you see before he uses his fist to stroke a load out onto her tongue. The from-the-basement scream Andrew belts out will let you know how good her oral was. Poison, of course, gives him so crazy post-orgasm head, to boot.


Scene Two: Zenova Braeden with Mario Cassini


“Hi, I’m Zenova and I have a body built for sex.” I’ve actually seen Zenova before (Juggernauts 4, web content) and she’s not a bad little pasty bottle-blonde plumper. She not very high-energy like Poison but the slow and measured way she does things, the sweet and low whisper of her voice, makes her somewhat alluring and sexy all the same. She takes off her bra and unleashes her massive mams, leans over and jiggles them in front of the camera. She wants to show you her bottom half next, so she pulls her panties to the side and pries apart her pussy lips to give you a gander at that, too. Soon, off come the panties so she can bend over and show you what her ass looks like. Satisfied that she’s let you peruse the goods long enough, she settles back to pleasure herself, spreading her legs and rubbing her pussy while you watch it moisten right before your eyes. Cassini joins and helps himself to her bright pink nipples as she takes over pussy-teasing duties. As he and Zenova tangle tongues, you can see his cock rise up slowly so Braeden kneels and wraps her mouth around it, erecting it 100%. Again, her style isn’t particularly exciting but rather relies on a “slow burn” sort of effect. Either way, she gets the job done. I generally loathe when a cameraman decides that the best angle to capture a blowjob is from an angle where we also get a more-than-excellent view of the male talent’s perineum, but here it works but only because the better view is watching Zenova’s hanging floppies as she slides Cassini in and out of her mouth and fingers her bush. ”Fuck me now,” she says to him in a low voice and then lies back on the bed. Mario slicks his cock with his own saliva and then just sits it on Braeden’s pussy to tease her. He drags his cock back and forth across her clit and then finally sinks his meat in her bush like an anchor. As he thrusts, you can actually hear Zenova’s wet pussy clinging to his cock. She mostly just breathes hard and keeps her eyes shut tightly as she rides Cassini first cowgirl, then reverse, fucks him spoon then mish. A short tit-fuck (which Braeden has the perfect, natural DD’s for) precedes Mario bending her big ass over for some doggie. He then coats her lips with a high protein gloss, which Zenova is very tight-lipped in receiving and sure not to let any accidentally slip into her mouth.


Scene Three: Kimmy Lee with Tony Michaels


Hi, I’m Kimmy Lee (White Girls Got Azz Too, Big Phat Wet Ass Orgy & Big White Wet Butts 2) and I’m 20-years old and I like to fuck.” Ain’t that the truth. Next to the lady in the next scene (Misty Mendez), Kimmy is the woman I’m the most familiar with in this cast. I could write a book on ol’ Kimmy and initially, it wasn’t even myself who was such a big fan, it was a friend of mine. He fell in love with her in her two Bang Bros. appearances and didn’t stop loving her after she put on a considerable amount of extra heft. And in all fairness, I can hardly blame him because it didn’t slow Kimmy down one bit. She’s the same cock hungry and insatiable whore she was when she was 120lbs. Just “more to love” as folks like to say. At any rate, Kimmy’s most recognizable asset remains her huge, round ass, which there is also plenty more of nowadays but what a formidable backend it is. Kimmy lies back on a sofa and fingers herself, her twat making loud squishing sounds when she inserts her fingers. Kimmy treats us to an excellent and zesty POV bj and then lies back to have her fleshy pussy fucked mish. The real treat comes when she mounts Tony cowgirl but unfortunately, the ass is so good to my man she has to either cut it short or make the dude cum too fast. She opts to turn around and grind on his dick reverse cowgirl. He fares a bit better here before having Kimmy get on her knees and bend her wide ass over for some doggie. Tony viciously fucks Kimmy’s tits while she squeezes them together and shoots a pretty copious and watery load right at her mouth.


Scene Four: Misty Mendez with Mario Cassini


I’m all about Misty Mendez. This Latina just does something for me. Ever since Heavy Handfuls 2, it’s been “on” between me and her. Turns out choosing the last name “Mendez” proved to be a little bit of foresight on her part because I swear to you, she is just what Eva Mendez will look like once she gets to be about the same age. She disappeared for a hot minute (at least from movies that weren’t put out by either Filmco or Totally Tasteless) and a lot of folks like to give credit to director Jonni Darkko for bringing her back to the “mainstream” so to speak in his first Boob Bangers movie but the truth is, Van Styles had her sewed up in Azz Fest 5, in a heat rock of a bonus scene, d.p.’d by Brett Rockman and Brian Surewood. Mario Cassini enters the frame to toy with Misty and these two always have pretty good chemistry – from Squirt for Me POV 2 to MILF POV 2 – these two always deliver. Mario brings the cock and Misty…well, she makes it do what it do, baby. Pardon my use of played-out pop culture catchphrases. Mendez sucks him well, I mean, as soon as his dick was out of his shorts, she was right there to give it hell, I swear. Dripping with saliva, he takes his cock and rests it on Misty’s pussy, much like he did with Zenova. Mendez, however, wraps her pussy lips around it and goes apeshit when Mario starts running his dick through her makeshift love canal. Without warning, he slips it inside her for real and Misty literally melts. She does love her some Cassini cock, that much is evident. She’s in another world when she rides him cowgirl. She doesn’t even settle all the way down on it, instead she hikes one leg up and sort of half-rides it and it makes for the absolute best visual, especially when the cameraman pulls back far enough to capture the penetration and her entire smooth and shapely ass. For some reason, Mendez breaks into Spanish when she rides Mario reverse cowgirl and then suddenly back to English when she begs for his cock in spoon. Sexy Misty gets her long red hair grabbed and pulled for a bit when Cassini pounds high-pitched yelps out of her in doggie. She turns around just in time to catch his hot jizz in her face and she honestly couldn’t be happier as she runs her tongue around the head of his cock.


Scene Five: Samantha Fox with Andrew Andretti


”Hi boys, I’m Samantha Foxx (Older Women With Younger Girls 10) and I’m built for sex.” Samantha Foxx (not to be confused with the adult LEGEND of the same name) doesn’t belong here. She absolutely reeks of newbie nervousness and camera shyness. She says the lines fed to her with all the naturalness and spontaneity of a ventriloquist dummy and with less charisma. If you can’t deliver a simple line like “Would you like to see my titties? Do you like what you see?” and say it like you actually mean it, then just please be quiet, fuck and go home. I mean, I wasn’t even convinced of her name when she introduced herself. Samantha (if that is her real name) can’t be more than 18-years-old here but bless her heart, the poor thing is here and she’s trying. But she cannot keep her eyes from floating around the room, looking towards an unseen figure for approval of some sort rather than concentrating on what she’s doing to herself or what her partner, Andrew is doing to her, either. If her eyes aren’t closed, they’re darting towards an unspecified target in the ceiling (peep the screenshots) and dammit, it’s way distracting. Maybe she’s asking God to forgive her. But I doubt it. Not the way this teen sucks dick. Once again, the myth is proven true! Samantha finally gives me something to rave about when she starts chugging down Andretti’s dick like it was the last hot dog at the picnic, baby! Sam’s not actually a plumper but rather a young girl with a whole lot of baby fat left on her still. She’s soft and curvy for sure but not obese. I almost want to forgive her when she tells Andrew, without even looking at him but rather, once again, off-camera, to ”come put that cock in my wet pussy” missionary For those of you who care about such things, Andrew’s cock also now has a condom on it, the only condom scene in this movie. Foxx loosens up a bit once a dick is inside her and then she hops up on Andy’s lap cowgirl. He grabs her hips and smashes her hips down on his prick but Samantha just can’t stop looking off-camera. I swear to God, there must be a rack of baby back BBQ ribs over there or something that the director promised to her for doing the scene. She endures some reverse cowgirl and a big-time, heavy-hitting spoon slamming where I can almost smell the bacon through my monitor. Andrew goes for broke in doggie, fucking Sam so fast and furious I’m afraid he’s gonna melt his condom right off. Cut to Andretti shooting his load over her shoulder and across her chest. Foxx asks ”Did you like that boys? See you next time.” but never looks at the camera the entire time. There must be some “boys” standing in the back of the room because that’s where she was looking.



Overall:

I looked around to see if this company “Cobra-Digital” offered any more movies but it doesn’t seem like they were producing movies very long and they didn’t put out very many. Of them, this may be their best offering. I’m not entirely sure how many copies of Bacon Love are still out there, floating around for BBW-lovers to get their hands on but if you see it, go ‘head and snap it up. The girls ain’t half bad at all and they don’t have the advantage of taking on guys who are going to be easy on them just because they aren’t as flexible or mobile as a girl half their size. Mario Cassini and Andrew Andretti put the screws to these gals and issued no breaks, showed no mercy, handed out no stays of execution. Mind you, a lot of the girls weren’t expecting or needing it, either. Kimmy Lee’s a wanton fuck machine who likes it rough, as is Misty Mendez. Andretti, however, was lucky Poison didn’t kill him: a girl that size, that voracious can equal a pulled muscle or two before it’s all said and done. Zenova’s always down for whatever even if she does everything at half-speed. Samantha Fox was the only wild card but even her scene is worth seeing for a laugh or two since she can’t seem to say one word that sounds even remotely genuine or keep her eyes on what she’s doing for more than five seconds at a time. Lovers of folds of female flesh will find lots to fawn over.


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Primo Matarazzo


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