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ANAL STARLETS (2010, Evil Angel/Mike Adriano Media)
THEMES: Ass Obsession, Anal, POV, Gonzo
The Cast: Jynx Maze, Brooklyn Lee, Nikki Sexx, Katie Summers, Krissy Lynn & Mike Adriano
Produced & Directed by: Mike Adriano
First of all, this is the second Mike Adriano film that I’ve seen, ever since he joined forces with The Evil Empire in the Spring of 2010. As I’ve said in my review for American Anal Sluts, like B. Pumper and Jay Sin, the man is a real nasty butt-and-anal fetishist (minus the ass smelling antics and having the ladies gape as wide as humanly possible). Personally, I do enjoy the works of Pumper and Adriano much more than Jay Sin for various reasons (for one, there are no women being dressed up as if they’re trying to impress someone who may have the sexuality of a fucking pedophile and there are hardly any type of circus acts). Though I consider myself through with porn watching (unless it’s something in my extremely small collection), it would take a lot to attract me to watching a new video. To date, I still feel American Anal Sluts is the best adult video I’ve laid eyes on. If it weren’t for this Adriano masterpiece, I would have placed either Belladonna: Fetish Fanatic 4 or one of B. Pumper’s videos in the category of the best adult video ever made. I never thought I would say this, but if one ever saw the works of B. Pumper, Mike Adriano and Belladonna, and actually want to add no more than a few adult videos to your stable, you’d might want to either throw away or sell your old DVDs from John “Buttman” Stagliano, Jules Jordan, etc. (and these men have made great ass obsessive porn over the years) While most porn directors wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t been for Mr. Stagliano, the content that Pumper, Adriano and Belladonna cranks out now blows everything else out of the water and makes everyone else’s shit look dated. I’ve said before that there are different types of ass obsession depicted in pornography. The way my three favorite porn directors (mentioned above) shoot butts, they take it to a very natural but sexy, perverse and sometimes repugnant level. The romanticism that Mr. Stagliano, Jules Jordan, Manuel Ferrara (just to mention a few) has been content with showing for years still holds value, however it’s unfortunately been rendered bland and powerless, thanks to who I consider my three favorite pornographers and the way they shoot the booty!
I could have easily passed this title up for various reasons (preferably because my journey with porn watching and reviewing is pretty much over), but though Mike Adriano is one of the greatest pornographers that ever lived, a title like Anal Starlets is pretty basic and boring. Then again, it seems like all of his titles include the word “anal”. Now, I know his movies are all anal and anal-only, but why not use more effective titles, such as The Fudgepacker’s Paradise? Then again, titles like Anal Frenzy, Nasty Anal Tryouts and California Anal Girls aren’t as crappy as most titles of videos distributed from Jules Jordan Video (can anyone say Anal Prostitutes?!)
Like a few directors at Evil Angel today, Mike Adriano cranks out fully loaded DVDs. Most of which doesn’t contain BTS footage, but instead, a bonus scene and a few trailers in addition to the usual extras and a video that lasts over 4 or 5 hours! This special 2 disc set includes a 68-minute bonus scene with a cute and loudly orgasmic black woman named Nyomi Banxxx (who resembles African-American big butt model, Tocarra, who once lost her composure in an episode of Celebrity Fit Club until Stacy Kaiser got in her face), the usual extras and 3 Mike Adriano trailers, including trailers for Filthy Anal Girls, Nasty Anal Tryouts and Anal Overdose (which has an all-star cast, though I heard was a disaster. Even a few die-hard Adriano fans have said the tease sequences are more potent than the actual sex and one ADT forum said "He's the genius who figured out how to make Monica Santhiago boring."
The female cast in Anal Starlets is full of rookies and women who I’ve never heard of until now, with the exception of Nikki Sexx (Phat Bottom Girls) and Katie Summers Phat Bottom Girls 3). Like American Anal Sluts, the female cast is diverse, filled with some of the baddest Caucasian and Latin women in the industry. Fortunately, this is a video filled with one-on-one sex, unlike his first video for Evil Angel, which shows him taking on two or three women at the same time like some lucky asshole who rubs it in the faces of losers who can’t even have one!
Jynx Maze is a South American beauty who resembles a younger Francesca Le. Adriano puts my phone on her back… a phone that I have; the BlackBerry Curve. She walks, struts, switches wearing booty shorts and wears some kind of Victoria’s Secret underwear with a band that looks as if it could been the start of men’s underwear or a fucking silk jock strap (I would love to see a woman wearing a jock strap… odd as it may sound, it’s probably sexy and you don’t have to be a bisexual or gay man to say booty looks good hanging out of a jock strap). No, it’s not a jock strap, but it’s a silk thong. Her drawers go down and she shows her buns and asshole, spreads her cheeks and makes her asshole wink, tastes her ass, does more switching and walking, feeds her rectum pudding to Mike and he spreads her cheeks hard with his two thumbs, exposing her rectum, which seems a bit hard to do since her ass is so big. But Mike Adriano has some pretty strong hands and only a few men can stretch a woman’s butt open like this! Mr. Adriano has my full-fledged respect because for one, he spreads a woman’s butt cheeks like no other. Even Pumper can’t spread a woman’s butt like this! He eats her asshole, digs in it and tastes it repeatedly. There’s also lots of moaning and trash talking from this barely-legal dangerous beauty. Jynx does indeed get her pussy ate, too. Mike Adriano shoots the best blowjob action, since he shoots his shit with POV style, with close-ups of his dick and the girl giving him skull! He fucks her anally in various positions and the scene lasts for 67 minutes. 15.
Next is Brooklyn Lee, who reminds me of Nataly Rosa (Latin Butthole Stretchers) and old-school Latina Justine Romee. She prances around, but not for very long, even though lots of attention is paid to her ass. The blowjobs she gives to Mike Adriano are pretty overdrawn, very sloppy and spitty. I almost felt like I was watching Pretty Sloppy again. There’s lots of oral play and even more anal fucking. However, it wasn’t very energetic. As much as I want to blame it on Brooklyn being a small and petite girl, that would be a blanket statement, as there are many tiny girls who can take it very hard… prime examples: Amber Rayne and Lexi Love. Brooklyn is beautiful as all hell, but this scene didn’t hold too much excitement. This is a fine example of how you should never assume that because a girl is a knockout means a scene she’s in will be a flawless victory (I am reminded of Sky Lopez’s above average sequence in Jules Jordan’s Bottom Feeders as I say this -- and Sky Lopez looked like $50 million dollars on the front cover). It’s not a bad sequence, but it could have been more energetic, especially with it running over 67 minutes. This turns out to be the weakest scene in the video. 13
Katie Summers, who I’ve seen before in Buttman’s Stretch Class 4 (one of the five best adult videos of 2010), has what I want to say the perfect butt cheeks (white, meaty and hung low), but there’s too many of them out there to give that award to just one female. She switches, jiggles a lot, gets her ass smacked before going up a flight of stairs. She wears a skirt with no drawers on her ass and shows it a lot. Mike plays with her booty a lot (anal beads are added to the mix) until she sucks his dick and he fucks her in the ass in various positions. She says “ride that little asshole” so many times. The action gets hyper, harder and more attentive when she gets it doggystyle. She also becomes more louder, stuffing her face between couch cushions, getting more vocal and hoarse. Mike Adriano’s POV is immaculate. Some people may think POV is the same, regardless of a director’s style. They are wrong; nobody shoots POV like Mike Adriano or Jake Malone! Amid the sex, you see a glob of I think spit, come, lube (or a combination of all three) coming out of this woman’s butt hole. Mike plays with the glob, places it on the head of his dick and rams it back in her ass. She even sucks it off him before she rides him in cowgirl. I notice this a lot in Adriano’s videos and this is the closest thing to a creampie anyone will ever see from not only Mike Adriano, but any director at Evil Angel (hence their creampie ban; B. Pumper was able to shoot creampies after forming his own company, might I add). More booty shots: she opens and closes her butt cheeks, squeezing them together constantly before sitting on Mike’s face. The sodomy continues and gets better when she pays on her side and he pours a ridiculous amount of oil on her ass, which makes him fuck her as hard as he can (not Rocco Siffredi hard, though). He comes in her mouth and closes the scene with her ass to the camera, then briefly showing her shaven pussy and come-glazed itty bitty titties! 15
The second disc starts with Krissy Lynn. I won’t say Krissy Lynn is a knockout/5-star chick, but she is bad as fuck. In fact, she’s probably the closest thing to Kristy Lynn in the porn industry today (though the industry is filled with so many imitators and Kristy Lynn wannabes). She is so much better than most overrated porn stars around today (a la Alexis Texas, Kristina Rose, Andi Anderson, etc.). Plus, she reminds me of how Flower Tucci used to be in regards to her being the total butt slut that she is. Krissy Lynn has a real, big, juicy white booty and moves it around like no other. She walks, switches, pulls her jeans off, pulls her thong up and down and up and down repeatedly, especially when Mike pours oil all over her big white ass. Then, she walks to a wall, bouncing her ass in the air like no other! She sports a baseball hat amid her entire scene, making her look more freakier to some degree. She sucks and gags on Mike’s dick a lot and he fucks her in her big white ass in various positions, popping in and out of her at times. Did I mention there’s lots of ass-to-mouth oral sex here? Mike fucks her for a long time and going by her facial expressions, she’s really enjoying him sodomizing her. No acting here. Right before he busts on her, he squeezes a huge glob of KY Jelly on her ass. I did not think I’d enjoy this scene, but I did mercilessly and I am enjoying Krissy Lynn. I believe we’ll see more of her and if not, we should. I am sick of the overrated Alexis Texas’ of porn getting more attention than her and so many other girls. 15
The final scene stars Nikki Sexx (Manuel Ferrara’s Phat Bottom Girls 3). I’ve said before she reminds me of Flower Tucci, but as I write this review, she is much more fit, healthier, in shape and more attractive than Flower Tucci (whose greatest point of her career was from 2005 to 2008). Nikki’s body is incredible, though lightly flawed (thanks to a few stretch marks she possesses, though they look sweet to me). Believe it or not, there’s more time spent on the tease and blowjobs more than the butt fucking. The anal sex lasts for a little over 20 minutes while the entire scene lasts for about exactly 60 minutes. This is an excellent scene with the sodomy occurring in various positions until he busts. This scene isn’t as vocal as the others, nor is it messy. I didn’t see any oil being used on her ass at all. A brilliant way to end the video. 15
In conclusion, Anal Starlets is almost in the same exact league, but not quite as flawless as American Anal Sluts in regards to it’s extreme level of replay value, a diversity of female talent and it’s raunchy and delicious style of ass obsession, even though it’s concept is different (two people getting it on). There’s also some titty fucking, which wasn’t important to me, though others may differ. Of five scenes, four of the were rated at the highest (15/15) while one scene was just rated as good. There were no strong negatives in this video, other than the cheap title, some rock music playing amid the tease sequences and the lack of energy and raunch in Brooklyn Lee’s scene (though I wouldn’t say the scene was a filler). This is better than most, if not all, porn available now and as I’ve said in my review for American Anal Sluts, Mike Adriano is the best of the best in the industry. Adriano, Pumper and Belladonna cranks out quality ass-obsessed shit that’s worthy of being watched every single day, assuming that’s even possible. Everyone else ought to stop or plan for retirement and save their money. If not for these three directors, there would have almost been no reason to watch porn for the past few years, to date and tomorrow (even though I have had my share of watching other people’s videos in the past few years, but if Pumper and Adriano’s work came into my life years earlier, I would not have wasted my time watching as much as I have).
Gone are the days of basic ass obsession shot by John “Buttman” and Tom Byron, where all you saw most of the time was a woman’s butt cheeks and no more, leaving something to the imagination… making you wonder what’s in between that big butt? We all knew secretly there was a hole that stinks and secretly begging to be fucked and reamed out. I would say probably since Christoph Clark made videos for Evil Angel, there was more added to the equation. Today’s videos are filled with zest, gusto and what many will judge as objectionable material. Everything is exposed from the asshole to the gapes, the guts and enemas being expelled! Fortunately, there are barely any circus acts or women dressed despicably as you’d see in Jay Sin’s videos. Some complain about Mike Adriano’s close-ups, but I believe he offers a balance. There are close-ups of him putting KY Jelly in their assholes and everything goes up in these women’s butts, from flashlights, spit, lube, beads and even thermometers (I’ve seen this in his trailers for Anal Frenzy and Assfucked Sluts. Something tells me his love for the butt and the rectum will probably modify and become more dirtier as his career expands (I just wonder when and if him or B. Pumper will shoot women wiping their asses with toilet paper, with strings of TP stuck between their butt cheeks -- Belladonna has done this before, not in a video, but instead on some photos she’s shot to her website). Another thing I admire is that he fucks the ladies through his underwear, so there will be no man ass being shown. The man is a genius I’d say. And now, I can see myself checking out Filthy Anal Girls (which looks as if this may be his third best video and besides, Kimberly Kane and Lou Charmelle look their greatest in here it seems).
In addition, I feel Mike Adriano should work on his style of advertising. Please, stop overusing the word “anal” in the video titles. It was almost easy for me to pass up on this title if I had not seen the trailer. And it would have been a shame, since he make quality flicks. The DVD menus mostly has stars and stripes in them, plus the front artwork for most of his videos contain too many photos… it’s almost like we’re being browbeaten with an overload or overkill on a bunch of unnecessary images, which may turn some porn viewers off. Aside from this, I almost watched this video without fast forwarding and while it’s hard for me to do that, only a few pornographers can keep my attention whole-heartedly like this! Anal Starlets, like American Anal Sluts is a real thinking ass freak’s paradise or it could force the chronic masturbator into a life sexual suicide. After watching this and masturbating to it heavily, later on he’ll wonder why Viagra or Cialis won’t work for him when it’s time for him to get some ass in his real life. View with caution.
ALSO EXTREMELY RECOMMENDED:
The Gapeman series, Phat Bottom Girls 3, Waxxxin’ Phat Asses: Nubian Style, Latin Butthole Stretchers,
American Anal Sluts, Buttman’s Oddyssey (part two) & Pretty Sloppy
Replay Value: 97% - Extreme!
OVERALL RATING: 99.3% - Own it immediately!