Running Time: 91 min.
Production Date: 1993
Director: Biff Malibu (now better known as Christopher Alexander)
Cast: Celeste, Natasia (who some might now better as Courtney), Shawnee Cates, Monique (who some might know better as Stephanie DuValle), Sunset Thomas, Biff Malibu, Dick Nasty, Mark Davis, Rocco Siffredi, Woody Long, and Zack Thomas
Initial Expectations: It’s got Celeste. That’s enough to get my motor running. I’m hoping the rest of the movie can keep it going.
Initial Reaction: It’s kind of fun, in a cheesy way.
Who Should Watch It : Anybody who wants some fun and cheesy anal porn
Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who wants Anabolic’s current high technical qualities
Audio /Video Quality: The audio is normally clear and well balanced, especially for the age of the feature. The video, however, definitely shows its age and varies quite a bit throughout the feature. Although much of the feature looks great for its age, there are many flashes of remnants, some slight grain, inconsistent lighting, and a few bars that flash across from time to time. The beginning of the feature is by far the worst, where the bottom of the screen is uneven and fuzzy.
Music: The music has a definite late eighties early nineties dance feel to it, complete with lyrics. It’s a little loud, but does have a driving beat that helps out the scenes.
Menus: The main menu is very fuzzy and basic, and doesn’t give a good first impression, especially at Anabolic’s cost. The chapter menu is much the same, and allow you to choose a scene based on a small clip of the scene. In a very nice touch that somewhat ties in here, the DVD insert lists which woman is in which scene, so you can use the chapter menu to easily skip to who you want to see. It would be nice if Anabolic would list the girls on the actual chapter menu, but this is a decent start.
The Feature: Biff Malibu, aka Christopher Alexander knows he has to come up with something decent for a new movie, and fairly quick. He sits back on the beach talking with Mark Davis, where they notice they can’t do a beach movie since there’s no girls around. Mark comes up with the brilliant idea of making a cheesy porno (just think of the bucks he could have right now if he would have patented the idea). He suggests that he fucks Shawnee Cates and they can call it Ski Vacation, no wait, Anal Ski Vacation, no, how about Mark Davis’ Anal Ski Vacation. Being an evil white man, since the media has taught us that there’s no other kind, Biff tweaks it just a little into Biff Malibu’s Anal Ski Vacation and runs with the idea throughout the movie.
Cute raven haired Shawnee Cates breaks Mark Davis’ adult film cherry in the opening scene. That’s right boys and girls, you can see just how baby faced Mark Davis was when he started and see him with hair on the top of his head. They talk about their jeep getting stuck on the snowy mountain and need something to do to kill the time. Shawnee heads for the hood where her black fuck-me-boots go up in the air so Mark can easily tongue her twat and later work over a little more of her body in the “nippy” outdoors. She mouths his manhood a little in return before he picks her up for an upside down sixty nine. They keep things going in the air as Mark picks Shawnee up and impales her pussy on his shaft while he leans back against the front of the jeep. Mark also fucks her pussy from behind before playing with her asshole and eventually sliding his cock slowly into it and gradually building speed. Mark finally pulls out and sprays himself (which is sadly shown in slow motion) all over Shawnee’s ass and the surrounding area. There’s some great chemistry here, and both Mark and Shawnee seem to be nicely into each other. There’s also a nice little touch of realistic sex by Mark taking his time as he starts fucking Shawnee’s ass.
Next up, Biff retells the story about Woody Long who went skiing with Celeste, a gorgeous brunette who’s been a personal favorite I’ve missed for many years. He examines her crotchless and assless pants before giving her tits (which were all natural and gorgeous at the time) a little kissing and then moving down to tongue Celeste’s twat. She returns the favor by putting her amazing and sloppy oral skills to work on Woody Long’s long woody, and most of the time keeping a great smile on her face while doing so. She moves up to ride Woody cowgirl style, and then at his request, turns around so he can look at her great ass as he fucks her. At her suggestion, he sticks three fingers and then his cock into her ass. Woody gives Celeste a very nice reaming, but sadly you never see both the penetration and her face at the same time. Due to that, it might not be too surprising that Woody moves back to Celeste’s pussy to finish things missionary style before delivering a heaping helping of dick droppings onto her great tits. Not surprisingly, since Woody and Celeste used to be married, there’s great chemistry between them, as well as some good energy. It’s scene like this that remind many of us that used to follow Celeste how much we wish she’d come back for a scene or two.
Natasia, an average at best looking brunette with bad implants, tells how she and Biff Malibu, who looks much better behind the camera than in front of it, couldn’t make it past the staircase before starting to fuck. He licks her snatch before laying on his back on the stairs for her to suck and fuck him. She turns around so he can bone her butt, and finally takes his pop there as well. This is an average at best scene. The railing on the staircase hides much of the action, which might be more of a blessing than a curse with the looks of each of them. I think this scene is one of those reasons remote controls have fast forward buttons.
Penultimately, Sunset Thomas, a cute model quality blonde with better than average implants, and her husband Zach Thomas cuddle up in front of a fire back in their cabin. Sunset talks about how her butt hurts from falling while skiing, and Zach talks about sticking something in it. He kisses his way across her body and down to her snatch, which he warms up nicely before letting her slowly mouth his manhood while giving him great eyes. They start out fucking missionary style, but Sunset turns around to let Zach slide his cock up her doo-doo hole. He finally pulls out and sprays Sunset’s asshole with his cum gun. It’s another okay scene. Sunset gets into her rectal reaming pretty well, but the camera work really holds it back. You actually get to see her reaction to being ass fucked a bit, but it looks like they used three Mag-lights to provide all the lighting for the scene. It’s really too bad, since Sunset is quite the stunner.
Finally, Monique, a decent looking bleached blonde with a small but nice natural rack, takes on Rocco, which is normally a very good thing, and the appropriately named Dick Nasty, which is only a good scene if he’s got his back turned and even then is rarely a good thing. The guys take turns licking her and getting sucked. The guys also take turns fucking her pussy until Monique takes Rocco’s rectal roto-rooter. It’s a nice opening for Dick, who fucks Monique’s ass while she wraps her pussy around Rocco’s cock. Dick doesn’t last long before popping on her asshole and letting it drip down on Rocco’s unit. Rocco keeps going, and finishes the scene with a nice facial for Monique as Dick sits in the background pouting. It’s a slightly above average scene that would have been a heck of a lot better if it had anybody other than Dick Nasty.
Anal Ski Vacation doesn’t seem to aim too high, and because of it hits right about there. It never takes itself too seriously and often pokes fun at the low budget nature of many pornos. This gives it a fun tongue in cheek feel, that would seem to transfer well to tongue in cheeks. Although there isn’t much rimming, there’s some decent anal in every scene, and every girl appears to enjoy having her rear reamed. There’s also some very good chemistry in the scenes, much of which is due to having some real life couples. Celeste stands out at the top of the feature, mainly due to the joy she shows throughout the entire scene. Monique also stands out, and handles Rocco’s cock amazingly well. The biggest problem is the camera work, which hurts every scene in the movie. You rarely get to see anal penetration as well as the girl’s face as she takes it, and the cameras are way too fond of close-ups and three quarter body shots. Oddly, quite a few of the three quarter body shots have quite a bit of space in front of the bodies, which means you should have been able to see the penetration as well. This makes much of the camera work seem a bit amateur and brings down the feature. All combined, it makes Anal Ski Vacation an above average fuck flick with a cheesy feeling about it.
Extras: Of course there’s web site information, since having a website without internet information is like a porn star trying double anal without using lube. It’s just not done. The photo gallery lasts about a minute and a quarter with about six seconds per slightly fuzzy snapshot or occasional full screen photo. I know this is an older feature, and things normally don’t look as good here as ones released today, but the photo gallery looks about like Caballero’s rather than Evil Angel’s, who seem like a probable competitor for the same market and can turn out great looking extras despite the age of the feature. There’s also a cumshot recap, but it’s kind of hidden at the bottom of the chapter menu so many people might now know it’s there. The B-side of the DVD is devoted completely to trailers. You can get a peek at Up Your Ass 12 and 13, World Sex Tour 20, Penetration 9, Nice Rack 3, Nasty Nymphos 26, Nasty Girls 21, Initiations 1, Gangbang Girl 25, Anal X Import 18, Anabolic Assman 11, Butt Banged Naughty Nurses, and Butt Banged Hitch-Hiking Whores.
Themes: Straight, anal, group, and DP
Raincoat Factor: Very high
Overall: Currently, Anal Ski Vacation can be found online for between $20 and $25 with stores offering it everywhere in between. Rent this one first. It has some decent sex in it, but the feature is short, the technical aspects are a little weak, and the extras are very weak. Twenty bucks seems like way too many for the bangs you get here.
Note to Anabolic: It’s really great that you’re bringing out your older movies on DVD. I really wish a few other studios would follow your example. In the future, however, please either put a little more effort into making them look a little more professional or drop the price on them so they’re a little more competitive with the average porno rather than the top of the lines one. It’s one thing to shell out twenty bucks plus if you know you’re going to get over two hours of fucking and sucking with the best possible transfer and a few decent extras. It’s quite another to shell it out for an hour and a half of adult fun that has an average at best transfer and a slopped together feel to the DVD.
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