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This chat with anal sex authority, Tristan Taormino, took place in the Adult DVD Talk Chat Room on December 13, 2000. Many thanks to Tristan for joining us and enlightening us. For more on Tristan and some down-to-earth sex tips visit Also be sure to read our glowing reviews of the DVD based on Tristan's book (and co-produced by Tristan and John "Buttman" Stagliano) The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women - Tristan makes her adult movie debut in the movie. You can buy her book at

Steph:  Everyone please welcome writer, sex educator, porn producer, Tristan Taormino!

Hellos and welcomes from audience - and from Tristan. We go into moderated mode...

Steph:  Tristan - What first got you into the sex business?

Tristan:  Well, I really started out as a writer, but I have a little bit of an exhibitionist streak, so I started go-go dancing at some clubs. I kept writing, then decided to do a movie version of my book.

Adult DVD Talk:  Evil Rip says: What sparked your interest in Anal activities? What motivated you to try these types of activities even though they are taboo. Do you think society will be at a point where Anal sex will be as "freely" discussed as oral sex. With Bill clinton as an example of public talking of oral..

Tristan:  You bring up a good point. What was taboo a few years ago -- like oral sex -- is now considered a "normal" part of sex for everyone; hopefully, as time passes, the same will be true for anal

Adult DVD Talk:  Emahevul says: stupid question Tristan, but ever taken a member in the backdoor that you COULDN'T handle?

Tristan:  Not yet, although I have tried anal fisting on several occasions, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't...

Adult DVD Talk:  Do you watch many porn movies? If so which are your favorites?

Tristan:  Oh yes! I am a huge porn fan! Lately porn star Chloe has been directing her own movies... her titles like "What Makes You Cum?" and "I Came Did You" are awesome. I also like Evil Angel, like John Leslie's The Voyeur and Christoph Clark's Euro Hardball. What I am dying to see right now is Ooze, the all-girl spoof of the HBO special. It features four generations of female porn stars, ooohhhh!

Steph:  Oneloa and I were lucky enough to be on the set of Ooze (story here)

Adult DVD Talk:  JoeBob says: It's been my experience that women are either into anal or they're not - it's not a learned enjoyment. Care to comment?

Tristan:  I agree and disagree. Some of those who are not into it either have hang ups based on myths and misinformation they have heard or they had a bad experience; in these cases, with a generous patient lover, they can be converted to the other team, the team of anal fanatics.

Adult DVD Talk:  Seth says: What is your forthcoming book going to be about?

Tristan:  I am finishing it right now, although unfortunately the publisher (Regan Books, a division of HarperCollins) cannot decide on a title. It's a sexual how-to guide that covers a lot more territory than the anal book. I want to introduce everyday people to fabulous new sexual pleasures... for example, G-spot, female ejaculation, anal sex for her AND HIM, sex toys, roleplaying, fantasies, porn, and S/M.

Adult DVD Talk:  devildog says: Hi Tristan, any tips for introducing a squeamish woman to anal?

Tristan:  Yes, first TALK to her about her anxieties and concerns and fears; reaasure her that it won't be a big mess and it doesn't have to hurt, not even a little, tell her if it does, you'll stop. Go slow, use lots of water-based lube, and really rev her up with lots of non-anal foreplay to begin with.

Adult DVD Talk:  Endorphin says: Did you first try anal with a partner or through masturbation?

Tristan:  I first tried it with a partner, one of my very first female lovers in college.

Adult DVD Talk:  Seth says: In one of your earlier interviews, you once remarked that you describe your sexual orientation as "feminist." What might it mean to adopt that kind of identity as a means of characterizing one's sexuality?

Tristan:  Well, everyone is always trying to, um, nail me down, about my sexual orientation -- The truth is I am an equal opportunity lover who likes people of lots of genders -- My so-called identity is constantly changing, but one thing that remains constant is that I am a feminist.

Adult DVD Talk:  JoeBob says: Besides having great sex, what else do you do for fun? :)

Tristan:  Well, JoeBob, the truth is I am a super workaholic, and I have my fingers in so many pies right now that I barely have time to pee. But, if I do have free time, I love to play with my dogs, see movies and plays with friends, and shop, I could shop all day. Plus, I read a whole bunch, and next year, I am planning to learn how to make my own sushi.

Steph:  What are you reading?

Tristan:  OK: Clear Your Clutter With Feng Shui; and Black Beauties and Dark Horses: Women, Horses, a Passion -- and The Poisonwood Bible and Flogging by Joseph Bean; and My Dangerous Desires by Amber Hollibaugh.

Adult DVD Talk:  Seth says: What will your upcoming cable tv show be like?

Tristan:  Well, it's on the Burly Bear Network,, a college cable network. My show is called "Sexology" and it's a talk show where I bring up topics and a bunch of college students chat about them, things like fetishes, anal sex, SM, stuff that college students are just starting to experiment with.

Adult DVD Talk:  Acromancer says: What type of toys do you recommend for the beginner to intermediate transition? (From finger insertion to dildos, and do you recommend the Jelly Dongs???)

Tristan:  jelly dongs are great, because they are soft and super flexible. Some folks like vibrating butt plugs because the vibration helps them relax. Once you have graduated, I of course, recommend the butt plug named after me, The Tristan, which I helped design.

Steph:  Maybe you can answer a question that has plagued me for some time - what's the difference between a dildo and a dong?

Tristan:  No difference, just two words for the same thing.

Steph:  Which kind of lube do you recommend?

Tristan:  I love I-D Glide, it's water-based, thick, and has just gone the long haul with me for years... other lubes great for anal are Maximus (from England, made by Body Silk company) and Foreplay Lube de Luxe gel or cream, and Slippery Stuff gel.

Adult DVD Talk:  JoeBlack says: What is your Feeling on Anal beads for pleasure?

Tristan:  Anal beads are great, especially for people who love that first moment when the anus relaxes and opens up and allows something inside; with anal beads you can experience that several times over-- but be wary of the really cheap plastic ones, they have sharp edges; get rubber or silicone ones instead; they are a little more expemsive, but your ass is worth it.

Adult DVD Talk:  Acromancer says: What about anal beads, I have seen many types such as those with strings to the jelly type that has a flimsy handle, I am curious as to what may happen (the possibility) of getting these toys stuck...

Tristan:  the ones on a string have a ring, so you should be able to retrieve them -- the ones that are all one piece, no string, are easier to clean.

Adult DVD Talk:  Seth says: In Volume I of his _History of Sexuality_, Michel Foucault raises worries about the "discursive explosion" regarding sexuality since the seventeenth century. As a sex columnist for two major periodicals, an author of two books on sex, an editor of a lesbian sex magazine, and the co-producer of a tv show about sex, do you sometimes wonder whether you are complicit with the systems of power that have governed sexuality over the past several centuries

Tristan:  Seth, you are scaring the other guests at the chat...

Steph:  I'm scared and I actually read the book :)

Tristan:  I am interested in sex, it's the most powerful, profound thing we do and have, and so I feel I am a pioneer of sorts not simply complicit

Adult DVD Talk:  bbq says: Is anal sex a more popular topic with men, than with women?

Tristan:  Actually, an equal amount of women and men come to my workshops and lectures. One of the myths out there is that anal sex is every man's fantasy, not every woman's.. I hope my work is helping squash that myth once and for all.

Adult DVD Talk:  JoeBob says: On your website you claim anal sex will NOT put a person in Depends, what medical research did you perform to back up this claim?

Tristan:  I haven't personally done research first hand, but I have read nearly everything there is to read on the subject and the fact is that WHEN DONE CORRECTLY, anal sex will not damage your body.

Adult DVD Talk:  JLittle says: Are there certain brands/types of condoms that are less irritating to the anus?

Tristan:  Generally, condoms with studs, bumps, and texture designed to feel good inside a woman's pussy may feel irritating or abrasive to the delicate lining of the anal canal and rectum, so I recommend condoms without texture.

here we go into unmoderated mode (some stuff is edited for brevity.)

zxy:  Tristan , have you ever used a Love Swing?

Tristan:  No, but I did just try the Bungee Sexperience Sling, and really liked it.

DrewBlackADT:  What's that?

Tristan:  check out

zxy:  what about a sybian?

Tristan:  No, never tried the sybian. Waiting for them to send me one for free or a thoughtful fan to buy one for me,, heee heee heeee.

JoeBlack:  Do you feel that a male should be willing to allow a woman to experiment back during anal experiences?

Tristan:  Joe, yes, I feel like everything should be mutual and go both ways.

JoeBlack:  I agree with that

bbq:  Tristan, forgive me for not knowing very well and being a little forward, but are you a lesbian, and is their anyone special in your life at the moment?

Tristan:  BBQ, I have a female partner who I am very committed to.

pornrules:  any new projects coming up soon?

Tristan:  pornrules, yes, my new book out in Sept., plus look for The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex 2 AND 3 in 2001 from Evil Angel

Steph:  excellent!

Steph:  Was The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex the first time you had sex on camera (other than home videos)?

Tristan:  Steph, yes, my very FIRST time, isn't that crazy?

Steph:  an orgy for your first :)

Seth:  Do you think that contemporary pornography is a help or a hindrance to the effort of educating the public about ways to have anal sex safely and comfortably?

DrewBlackADT:  Can you talk about what we should expect from #2 and #3 in the series?

Tristan:  well, #2 is going to be me turning the tables on buttman, sort of like butt girl strikes back, and there will be a surprising turn of events in one scene

Tristan:  #3 is going to be more advanced in education and more adventurous in sex

sdl:  Beyond anal?

Tristan:  sdl, you'll have to wait and see, but anal will always be the focus

Steph:  Did you go to the AVN Awards Show to pick up your awards? If so what did you think of the show?

Tristan:  Yes, I was there, I am surprised you didn't hear or see my acceptance speech, since Howard Stern has replayed it about ten times on his show

bbq:  Tristan, I think that you gave a great speech .

Tristan:  thanks bbq

bbq:  I really mean that.

pornrules:  it was very Sally Field-like, but kind of endearing though.

bbq:  Tristan, do you have large turn-outs at your lectures?

Tristan:  yes, I've had anywhere from an intimate all-girl workshop of ten to a female ejaculation workshop with 500 people

bbq:  Wow. :-)

Endorphin:  Tristan, I reviewed a different educational anal sex DVD. Wasn't too impressed. The trailer for yours looked alot better. Chadler has a sweet ass.

Tristan:  endorphin, you must check it out!

Steph:  Our Standard Question: If you were crowned queen of porn for a day what would you change?

Tristan:  well, steph, I would make not only HIV tests mandatory but a full STD screening mandatory as well -- and I would give Chloe and Nina unlimited budgets to make movies and I would put more women in positions of power on and off camera!

Emahevul:  Chloe is hot, I am highly enamored of her myself

fg521:  Do you have a a website to find out about your lectures??


DrewBlackADT:  Tristan, I really like your tatoo. Are most people surprised when when they see it for the first time. You appear to be so inncocent fully clothed. Shed the pants and watch out for the scorpion.

Tristan:  thanks Drew. I know I look a little like the girl next door, but I fuck like the boy from the wrong side of town, or so my girlfriend tells me

bbq:  Tristan, do you have internet chat sessions very often?

Tristan:  NO bbq, this is my VERY first!!

Steph:  you chat like a pro

astroknight:  wow!

Endorphin:  Tristan, you're keepin up good.

Tristan:  Gee, thanks, I was nervous I couldn't type as fast as I think

bbq:  Tristan, you are certainly an interesting person to chat with. I hope that you will hold chat sessions on your web site in the future.

Tristan:  bbq, gotta get the technology going on my site...

bbq:  Tristan, and more pictures of you on your web site as well. :-)

Steph:  Did you approach any studios other than Evil Angel about turning The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex into a movie?

Tristan:  yes, and they ALL turned me down, Evil Angel turned me down the first time, then John changed his mind

Steph:  i guess some studios must have the impression that you can't make it both educational and exciting

Tristan:  Oh, he took a chance on me, but I know he's happy with how things turned out, and as you can see, I am not going anywhere else, I am staying with Evil Angel

astroknight:  good choice!

Steph:  is the cast the same for #2

Tristan:  no, for now only Chloe will return for #2, I want to keep it fresh for viewers and work with a whole new group

Seth:  In your Village Voice column, you expressed interest in funding a video independently

Tristan:  Seth, I am funding a more alternative vid myself, on female ejaculation

Endorphin:  Tristan, as far as what you are attracted to, would you consider yourself an ass-woman? If so, whose ass are you most fond of?

Tristan:  Well, I've answered this question once before to a Penthouse reporter --- I'd say my girlfriend's ass is awesome and Nina Hartley's is simply unbelievable

bbq:  I agree with you there. :-)

Emahevul:  no argument here on that Tristan, her ass is amazing

bbq:  She let me kiss it once. :-)

Tristan:  bbq, have you ever seen my girlfriends ass?

bbq:  Is Nina Hartley your girlfriend?

Tristan:  no, not nina, I was kidding

DrewBlackADT:  tristan - are any of the pics on your site of you and your GF?

Tristan:  drew, no, but we've been in On Our Backs and Taboo together

sdl:  Please forgive me if I'm repeating something, but I got on late - I was wondering if you might be able to direct some information... How might one go about securing a coach for learning safe anal sex techniques, if such a thing exists?

Tristan:  I don't know of any coaches per se, but some pro-doms are quite experienced

sdl:  ANd what criteria can a cold shopper use to screen them for quality, again if such exists?

Tristan:  sdl, I don't know, but see if FetishDiva Midori does that sort of thing,

Seth:  fetishdiva midori appears in the current issue of On Our Backs too

sdl:  Just checked out MIdori's site, and she does indeed train. Not specific, but excellent info - Thanks much - I owe you one

DrewBlackADT:  tristan - Are you going to be at CES/Avn Expo in January?

Tristan:  Drew, CES is up in the air because the shooting schedule just got pushed back for the cable TV show

Endorphin:  Tristan, what do you do to stay in shape?

Tristan:  endorphin, I dance and run but I am breaking down and joining a gym for the new year

Endorphin:  in other words, any workout you reccommend for the gluteous maximus

Tristan:  ooohhh, one of the best workouts my butt ever got was when I rode horses, which I did for eight years as a kid and competed

JiGGY:  tristan, will you be writting for your next book?

Tristan:  jiggy, it's due in Sept 2001 and no title yet, but a how-to guide for new sexual pleasures

Emahevul:  Tristan, was just looking at some of your pics, that is an interesting tattoo, what made you want to get it?

Tristan:  my father was a scorpio. it is a memorial tattoo which I got when he died in 95 in honor of him

Steph:  so someone asked during the moderated part - what do you use for unwanted hair removal?

Tristan:  I personally shave, because I love the ritual itself, and I shave everything

bbq:  Tristan, did you have fun here tonight?

Seth:  I have a question about plain water enemas as a means of cleansing the anus and rectum. How much time should elapse following an enema before attempting an insertion?

Tristan:  you should have an enema at least 2-3 hours before penetration; you could have one in the AM and the hot date that night

DrewBlackADT:  Do you find many straight men interested in being on the receiving end of a strap on?

Tristan:  Well, everyone I have had a great time, but I must go! I have a really bad cold and it is my bedtime! Happy Holidays! Visit my website!! Yes, Drew, more than you could ever imagine.

many good nights, thanks, and please come backs...

Tristan:  thanks Steph and Drew - I'll be back!

Tristan, thanks for an excellent chat! We hope you visit us again soon!

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