Adult DVD Talk, a porn community and adult movie shopping guide  

This chat was held in the Adult DVD Talk Chat Room on September 6th, 2000 and sponsored by Gamelink

Antonio Passolini enters the chat room to a chorus of hellos.

Steph:  Antonio, welcome to our happy home

Antonio:  Sorry. I'm early.

Morrigan:  early is good

astroknight:  we'll let it go this time antonio :)

Randy:  Nope, gonna have to leave and come back.

Antonio:  Greetings, all.

RogTPipe:  Hello

Antonio:  Hi Roger.

Antonio:  I missed your last radio gig. But I read about it. Which is almost as good.

RogTPipe:  hello Antonio, dont miss this week, reviewing NWH6

Antonio:  I've been looking forward to it, Rog.

here moderated mode begins - the questions come in to Adult DVD Talk headquaters and we pass them on to Antonio one at a time...

Steph:  Antonio, thank you for taking the time to join us tonight. It's quite an honor to have you in our chat room.

Antonio:  It's an honor to be here. Thanks for having me.

ADT:  Tina Tyler says: What was the first script you wrote for the adult genre and how did that come about?

Antonio:  The first script I wrote was "Stiff Competition" for Caballero in 1984. I had an idea for a kind of BJ olympic thing...and the owner went for it. And it did amazingly well.

ADT:  The Wanderer says: During a conversation with AVN last year Michael Ninn made the astonishing revelation that, until recently, he never even spoke to the talent on the set of his movies. So I was wondering who really directed Latex and Shock. Was it you? Why is Ninn credited as director if he only dealt with the special effects?

Antonio:  No, Ninn was the director of those, heart and soul. I think he just meant that he doesn't really deal with the talent that much in terms of direction. He just asks for another take. And hopes to get what he wants.

ADT:  Tina Tyler says: You pay homage so beautifully to many different films and directors, who are your biggest inspirations?

Antonio:  I'm a big fan of David Lynch and John Waters, Hitchcock and Scorsese, Fincher and Oliver Stone... Russ Meyer was an early hero who I was lucky enough to meet and hang out with.

ADT:  The Wanderer says: Do you think that VCA's all-condom policy has affected the sales of your movies and will VCA be forced into changing their minds on this issue?

Antonio:  I'm not privy to sales figures. I know that the lack of facials combined with the condoms was not exactly pulling in new fans. If I had my politically incorrect way, there would be no condoms.

ADT: Emahevul says: which of your movies are you exceptionally proud of? and why?

Antonio:  That's a tough one.... Cafe Flesh was my first, and some big shoes to step into.... DMJ6 was a debacle that I managed to turn into something that at least Darkmage likes.... Bliss and Raw were more personal, and original stories, not sequels, and I put a lot into them.... I think my favorite is Raw, although there are little things about all of them that I really like. They're all individual mountains I had to climb.

ADT:  RogTPipe says: Question: Antonio, what were you hoping to bring out in Ginger Lynn in New Wave Hookers that has perhaps been missing from her comeback thus far?

Antonio:  Ginger and I talked alot.... she wanted to do something that was on par with the first new wave.... so I tried to give her something she could work with and sink her teeth into.

ADT:  Tina Tyler says: Many people don't realize that the music in your movies is done by you. Have you always been musically inclined?

Antonio:  Yes. I played the drums from about 8 until 18, when I picked up the guitar. The computer has really allowed me to flourish here, with programs that can allow me to create soundtracks from samples and recorded sound.

Antonio:  I like the music part more than the filmmaking part sometimes.

ADT:  jimymac says: is makin porn frustrating for you...would you rather be a star mainstream director?

Antonio:  Um, I had always wanted to be a feature director. I went to film school, and the got into this business and held out for more than a decade from offers to direct....

Antonio:  Then, with Cafe Flesh 2, I just kind of caved in....and here I am. It's frustrating, but it's till filmmaking.... and I find it gratifying most of the time, given the limitations.

Steph:  What were your first thoughts when you saw the preview for Bedazzled?

Antonio:  I haven't seen it.

Steph:  looks quite similar to dmj 6

Antonio:  Brendan Frazer?

Steph:  yup

ADT:  RogTPipe says: Antonio, do you prefer shooting movies that are heavy with dialog or do you like the more visual flicks like Cafe Flesh, DMJ etc.?

Antonio:  I don't like one thing in particular. The variety keeps me sane in this business. And I think that by making different kinds of genres, I expand the repertoire. So, I like them both. I was quite fond of Bliss when I finished it.... Because it was something that I saw in whole, and managed to get down on video.

ADT: DrewBlackADT says: what is your favorite flavor of cheese log?

Antonio:  Oh, smoked gouda. As long as it spreads, I like it.

ADT:  jimymac says: how much farther can porn go?, in terms of sexual acts?

Antonio:  That's a frightening thought.... when you think of all that's out there. I'd say, snuff films are the next level. But that's a good question.

ADT:  RogTPipe says: Don't you think a keen critical observation would make for a great DVD audio track? :-)

Antonio:  Actually, I do. I think anything adversarial or critical in the commentary is better than the usual puffery.

Antonio:  Want to do a commentary, Rog?

RogTPipe:  Let me think....YES! :-)

ADT:  Emahevul says: Mr. Passolini, this one may get you in hot water with your actors/actresses, but do you have a favorite actor/actress that you like to have work for you?

Antonio:  I love working with Tina. She's such a pro and she knows my mind and what I'm saying without me having to say it.... but I can honestly say that all the stars I've worked with have been a DREAM....Juli, Stacy, Ginger, Jeanna.... They've all been darlings. But I often write a part with Tina in mind because she's so wonderfully versatile.

ADT:  RogTPipe says: Are there any subjects you won't touch? Incest, extreme youth, religious scenes (I haven't seen any nun rape scenes in your stuff.)

Antonio:  There was a time.... When I wrote "Let Me Tell Ya 'Bout Black Chicks, I had a scene with these Klansman defiling a black gal who was masturbating to picture of Jesus that she was looking at as she cleaned the altar at a church... Greg Dark refused to film it that way. Now I know what I can and can't shoot... because I was in charge of production there for years and went through a federal trail involving obscenity, It's sad, really.

DrewBlackADT:  A word about the sponsor - Tonight's chat is sponsored by gamelink who is currently offering special package deals on Antonio's DVDs.

Antonio:  I like these commercials. They let me eat.

ADT:  Darkmage says: Tradition must be upheld! "Mr. Passolini, if you were crowned Adult Film Emporer for a day, what would be the first thing you would change about the industry?"

Antonio:  Um....

Antonio:  That's really a tough question.

Steph:  that's our standard question

Antonio:  Because I do respect all the genres out there, even if I don't like them personally.... But I would have to say that I would change the restrictions that I have to deal with in production...and of course, up the pay rate ten-fold for directors.

Steph:  restrictions like?

Antonio:  No themes that involve violence, or drugs, or voyeurism. That's crazy to me. Isn't porno voyeurism in the first place? I mean, I wouldn't make Kid Vegas videoes, but.... there are some plot lines that would be good that may have a gun or a syringe or binoculars in them. And look what they get away with on cable. It totally confounds me.

ADT:  Darkmage says: Are these restrictions placed on you by the studio, or do you place them on yourself?

Antonio:  Trial by fire has given the company, and some of our biggest distributors, a set of loose guidelines... Personally, there are lots of things that I would shoot that I can't. What I wouldn't go into would be rape or incest or pissing, because that's not my speed. But even rape could be part of a good plot. Not entertainment. But hell... it worked for Charles Bronson in "Death Wish." And Billy Jack. Etc.

ADT:  RogTPipe says: What do you REALLY think of guys like Max Hardcore or Thomas Zupko?

Antonio:  1) Max is a very strange man. There must be a market for his stuff, which means misogyny is alive and well.... 2) Who is Thomas Zupko?

RogTPipe:  He directed Anal Ball for Evil Angel, just signed on with Extreme

Antonio:  Didn't he shoot the Kennedy assasination?

RogTPipe:  I think you said all that needs to be said with your answer.

ADT:  Coltrane666 says: If you could choose a mainstream actor/actress to perform in one of your movies, who would you choose?

Antonio:  Katherine Keeler. I think that's her name.

ADT:  Tina Tyler says: You're authoring an animated series for the Playboy Channel. Can you give us the goods on it?

Antonio:  It's a computer animated show by Michael Ninn called Dark Justice. I understand it showed for the first time the other night but I missed it...

Antonio:  I do a number of voices on it....which has been fun.

ADT:  Oneloa says: What is the next project that you're working on?

Antonio:  I'm doing a kiddy show for adults called "Cap'n Mongo's Porno Playhouse. It's kind of a tribute to Pee Wee and a show I watched growing up in Dallas called "Slam Bang Theater," which, come to think of it, is a good title all by itself. You'll liked it. There's a talking weasel.

Steph:  you can't go wrong with a talking weasel

Antonio:  Named Lloyd.

Antonio:  Never.

Steph:  Lloyd Bravo? ;)

Antonio:  Yes!!!!

Antonio:  Lloyd Bravo!

Antonio:  Lloyd Bravo: Marsupial ...or rodent ...or whatever.

and on that note moderation ends and the free-for-all begins...

jimymac:  if you could take back one thing you've done in the bizz what would it be

Antonio:  Um, I would take back certain predelections for certain pharamceuticals.

Darkmage:  So, Mr. Passolini - Did the name Lloyd just jump out at you, or did you pick the lesser of two weasels?

Antonio:  The lesser of two weasels.

jimymac:  you've had a drug problem?

Antonio:  Nope. Drugs were no problem.

jimymac:  to get?

Antonio:  "To do."

ADT:  RogTPipe says: Antonio, will be see you perform in a sex scene at some point like other directors?

Antonio:  I make comedies, but none that funny.

DrewBlackADT:  What do you think of the 'virtual sex' genre of DVDs?

Antonio:  I haven't been impressed so far.

Darkmage:  Mr. Passolini, now that we have you to our tender mercies... Is there any particular "signature" that you have in your films that we should watch for? (other than your distinctive imagery)

Steph:  like kennedy's head?

Darkmage:  Or doves, or double-ended dildos or whatever.

Emahevul:  gosh, now I am going to have to go back and watcht cafe flesh 2, which I have lying around, and look for kennedy's head, LOL

Antonio:  2) The Kennedy head, and obscure references to my favorite movies.

Darkmage:  Forgive me, I'm forgetting my manners. Mr. Passolini, let me be the first to thank you for taking the time to chat with us. This means a lot to fans of your work.

Steph:  is the head really in all your movies?

Antonio:  I tend to lift and change dialogue and use names... like "Mandrake" in Latex.

DrewBlackADT:  Where did you find the box of Cheesy Poofs for the tralier scene in DMJ6?

Antonio:  It's not in Bliss. It's in all the others.

Antonio:  I bought the cheezy poofs at a mall and thought they'd be prefect. I also had a box of Quisp in there somewhere.

Morrigan:  Quisp! LOL

astroknight:  Antonio, what do you think the best thing is about the adult film industry of today?

Darkmage:  What is Quisp? Grits substitute?

Morrigan:  a cereal from the 80's

Antonio:  I think the best things is the freedom we enjoy as compated to the 80's.

Antonio:  And Quisp is from the late 60's

Morrigan:  is it?

Darkmage:  Aha. Before my time.

Antonio:  It was Quisp and Quake.

Morrigan:  I remember it when I was a kid

Antonio:  Cap'n Crunch spinoffs.

alanbenson:  Quisp vs. Quake: The Great Cereal War of the late 60s... :)

jimymac:  what do you think of alex de renzy

Antonio:  Alex.... is one of my heroes... and perhaps one of the best X filmmakers ever.

jimymac:  why was he so great?

Antonio:  Alex taught me a lot, like setting up a scene with talent before I shoot, to let them to what they really want to do. And he had a great eye.

Antonio:  He was an auteur and a true original. Still is.

Darkmage:  Do you ever have problems getting a particular star to work with you (other than scheduling conflicts)?

AnthonyC:  Will 'Porno Playhouse' have bizarre costumes? (NWH6 wasn't as fetishy as I thought it would be).

jimymac:  what about paul thomas work

Morrigan:  *groan*

Antonio:  I'll go with the groan.

Antonio:  I helped him with a movie called "The Pamela Principle," rewriting the script. Never heard from him again.

Morrigan:  well, that was not very nice

Antonio:  But he seems to have done well for himself.

Darkmage:  Mr. Passolini, do you find yourself rushing at the end of production, or are deadlines not as tight as the mainstream industry?

Antonio:  I go through some all-nighters. And my deadlines have been made increasingly more encroaching... Bliss and Raw took me three months to edit...I don't have that luxury anymore.

Steph:  Antonio, many Adult DVD Talkers have written scripts are were wondering where they could send them to get them reviewed for possible use.

RogTPipe:  Present company included :-)

Antonio:  Scripts should be sent to VCA. NOT my attention, because I'm not there anymore.

Darkmage:  Does the adult industry demand release dates along similar veins as mainstream? "Got to make the Labor Day weekend" and such?

Antonio:  The only date that we try to make is a CES release.

RogTPipe:  I'm afraid I have to be going. Great chat Antonio, be sure and catch the radio show tomorrow. New Wave Hookers 6 is the featured review.

jimymac:  whaen writing a script does that include the actual sex moves

Oneloa:  What radio show?

RogTPipe: :-)

Morrigan:  Steph what script?

Steph:  Morrigan my Heathers parody

Morrigan:  oooo, heathers parody

Antonio:  I went to film school with the guys who did Heathers.

Steph:  really? love that movie

Antonio:  They did a very funny student film called "Beaver gets a boner."

jimymac:  antonio.. when you write a script does that include the actual sex scene moves

Antonio:  Progresses into sex scene. (Sex scene #4, Anal)

DrewBlackADT:  hypothetical question: Tina Tyler quits acting. Who do you use to carry the witty Devil-dialog in DMJ7?

Morrigan:  ME!

Antonio:  Hypothetically. And I would retire DMJ without Tina. I think Michael Ninn may do the next one anyway.

astroknight:  antonio, who are your favorite musicians or musical groups?

Oneloa:  " Ninn may do the next one anway." Nooo.....

HoustonDon:  Antonio, are you looking at making any waves with either a new direction or actress anytime soon?

jimymac:  if porno is a billion dollar business...where does all the money go?

Antonio:  Not waves. Maybe a ripple or two.

Steph:  Antonio - did you see the who are your favorite musicians question?

Antonio:  I'll tell you this...I don't get the money.

Antonio:  Musicians.... Elvis Costello is #1

HoustonDon:  Okay Antonio-what ripples are you looking to make???

Darkmage:  Mr. Passolini, how did you see the advent of DVD changing the home adult video market? Did you orginally think it was a fad, or did you drool over the possiblities?

Antonio:  After Elvis, there's a wide range from Django Reinhart to They Might Be Giants.

Antonio:  "Accidents will happen" is my favorite song, I think.

HoustonDon:  great song

Antonio:  About the advent of DVD... I was skeptical at first. having seen the laserdisc come and go.... but now I love it. I'm watching The Fight Club DVD on my 'puter as I do this chat.

Darkmage:  Excellent disk. Be sure to check out the promotional materials on the second disk. They're hilarious.

jimymac:  antonio..are you a sports fan?

Antonio:  I love hockey. That's about it.

Steph:  Antonio aside from fight club what other mainstream dvds do you frequently watch

Oneloa:  Hockey???

Emahevul:  will do Steph

Oneloa:  What's your team Antonio?

DrewBlackADT:  Antonio - do you play?

bad2dabone:  I'm guessing he'll say Red wings

Antonio:  I have the Kubrick collection that I watch all the time. and I dig my Cohen brothers movies, and BAdlands....

Antonio:  I havea lot of them. I like the Stars.

bad2dabone:  ahhh..a Dallas man

Oneloa:  2 weeks until pre season

HoustonDon:  Aero's?

astroknight:  I miss having the Stars in Minnesota.

jimymac:  how's your sex life?

Antonio:  I know. I'm waiting. Well, I'm from Dallas. ...Which explains the Kennedy head.

Antonio:  Oh, you're from Houston. My sympathy.

HoustonDon:  hahahhahhaa

Antonio:  Personally, I like Austin. But Stevie Ray is dead, so what's the point of going there?

Darkmage:  The statue.

Antonio:  Haven't been back in years.

jimymac:  Antonio..where are you originaly from?

Antonio:  I was born in Maryland, brought up in Dallas.

jimymac:  why did you chose your non de plum (S)?

Antonio:  I've had many. When it came time to direct, I took Antonio for personal reasons, and Passolini because of "Salo."

Darkmage:  Do you take extended breaks between movies, or does one sort of flow into the next?

AnthonyC:  Antonio, do you prefer to film boy/girl or girl/girl?

Antonio:  All these questions. I know how Clinton felt...without Monica of course.

* Morrigan just fell out the chair

Antonio:  Okay...lately movies have been flowing one into the other....

Darkmage:  Is this a bad thing, or does it let you keep your creative momentum?

Emahevul:  Mr. Passolini, what is your single worst experience on a porn set?

Antonio:  It gets a little crazy, since I am a lazy self-indulgent fuck by nature.

Antonio:  I prefer shooting b/g to g/g/, since I'm not a /g/ Make sense?

Oneloa:  Antonio - Who have you worked with that you swear you will never work with again?

AnthonyC:  Antonio, will you be kicking the fetish up a notch in the next movie?

bad2dabone: made perfect mathematical sense

Darkmage:  Do adult film sets have separate Director of Photography or some similar position? Or does the director handle all of that?

jimymac:  what do think of the practice of giving out actresses real names

Antonio:  Some directors really like g/g. Some friends of mine growing up loved it in Penthouse. Me, I always wondered how the hell I was going to project myself into one of these girls. And which one?

Antonio:  Was there a sex life question?

jimymac:  ya hows yours

Antonio:  It's actually quite satisfying, but hardly porno material. that's the ultimate irony of my work.

Darkmage:  What irony? That real life sex feels good while movie sex looks good? :)

Antonio:  No.... but I think people have an assumption about the sex lives that we directors lead.

bad2dabone: thing I've learned about the sex biz...take plenty of zinc and irony

Darkmage:  hah! And you people complain about MY puns!

Emahevul:  anyone check out the recent issue of Hustler Erotic Video Guide, the question was posed to several porn stars if there sex life is better or worse now for porn, interestingly, they ALL said it was better, hmm

Antonio:  And even now I sometimes have a problem telling an actress, "okay, so then these five guys are going to fuck your ass and then come in your mouth. Cool?"

Darkmage:  Do you ever have one say "NO! Not cool!"???

bad2dabone:'s nice to know that my sex life qualifies me to be a porn director

Antonio:  I always discuss what they do and don't do before the scene, so there's never a problem.

Darkmage:  A director and a gentleman. I'm impressed.

AnthonyC:  Okay, well guys/girls, I love Antonio because he levels the playing field in how we see men and women.. they're all there for the taking... it's very liberating to see guys being 'used'.

Steph:  Antonio what are you reading now?

Antonio:  I'm reading a book about submarines, believe it or not.

M-killing-bug:  Antonio, ever seen Das Boot?

Antonio:  And...I do like to show men for the incredibly weak fools that they are, Anthony.

Darkmage:  Amen!

Antonio:  Women have the power. Bottom line.

Antonio:  I have the director's cut of Das Boot on DVD.

* M-killing-bug is worshipping at the altar of antonio

Antonio:  Do I get an award?

Darkmage:  "Today, the president closed the Norfolk Naval Submarine base. When asked why he closed the $3.2 billion facility, he said 'Those funny black ships just keep sinking anyway.'"

AnthonyC:  Antonio - Cool! I'm mainly gay but I really get off watching the women in control in your movies.

Steph:  Antonio you already won the cheesy poof award - what more do you want ;)

HoustonDon:  Antonio, what are your best movies so far that are on dvd?

Darkmage:  DMJ6!

Steph:  Ditto ...though Raw and Bliss are also must haves

Antonio:  That and Cafe Flesh 2. I hit my peak with my first movie and it's downhill from there. I'm the Orson Wellse of porn. :)

lunacy:  I liked Bliss best, thus far...

AnthonyC:  Antonio, I really love Cafe Flesh 2 - the visuals are surperb. Will there be a CF3?

Kapalua:  I agree with lunacy, I love Bliss

Antonio:  I'd like to do another, but they may let Michael Ninn do it. Who knows?

Antonio:  I'm quite proud of Bliss.

Steph:  maybe they could have consumers vote on who we want to do it?

Darkmage:  Hmm... this sounds like a trend. Antonio creates a great adult film, and Michael Ninn does the sequel. Hmmm...

AnthonyC:  Does VCA see you and Ninn as interchangeable, and if so, does that piss you off?

Antonio:  No, I don't think so...our movies are like night and day....but he's making less now, so they figure, "Hey, Passolini can do it!" ...I can never get my movies to look as good as Michael's. That's his forte.

AnthonyC:  Antonio, Have you thought about setting up your own website for fans?

Antonio:  And he's an incredible editor as well as art director/visualist.

Antonio:  I've thought about a website. But I think of a lot of things.

Darkmage:  I personally think M.N.'s films are too heavy on the CGI and surreal imagery. ... I prefer great visuals to weird visuals.

Morrigan:  surreal=bad....don't mess with my head while I'm watching porn

AnthonyC:  I like Ninn's sets but the cuts are too quick..

Antonio:  Well....I think his stuff has a certain look that is awesome. It's hard to be objective about my own look, but I do try to a certain something....

EXPOSED:  have you ever worked with bobbi bliss

Antonio:  Nope.

EXPOSED:  too bad

Antonio:  I'll keep that in mind.

EXPOSED:  she is now out of the business

Kapalua:  she came onto me at CES last year

Antonio:  I guess most of you would like to know some grisly guilty pleasures about the director....

Darkmage:  I agree, Ninn's stuff has a particular look to them that is unique. But I prefer a little more reality-based imagery. The surreal stuff doesn't lend itself to identification with the actors.

Randy:  Ooh...guilty Ben & Jerry's?

Darkmage:  Details, Antonio!

Morrigan:  oh, yes, guilty pleasures, please........

EXPOSED:  she gave me a blowjob at ces last year

Antonio:  That's better than my guilty pleasures.

Darkmage:  I need to find women who give blowjobs at conventions... I need to go the right conventions, I guess.

Steph:  Antonio?? the pleasures?

Kapalua:  M-I met her and she was obviously a little on the drunk side and she reached out to shake my hand and just kept rubbin it and commenting about how beautiful my eyes were

lunacy:  ohhh my!

Antonio:  Okay. I like to watch The Newlywed Game reruns on the game show channel.

Steph:  makin whoopie!

Antonio:  I like "Cops" immensely.

Darkmage:  The newlywed game, followed by Divorce Court.

Antonio:  No, Card Sharks is afterwards. And it's really bad. So bad it's good.

Morrigan:  What, no $10,000 pyramid?

lunacy:  ha! Antonio do you just LOVE Screen Gems?

Antonio:  I love The Sopranos..

HoustonDon:  Antonio-what do you like most about Cops?

Antonio:  I like seeing idiots getting taken down.

Antonio:  And I mostly watch The History Channel.

Steph:  you mean the WW2 channel?

bad2dabone:  I actually watch the TV show Big Brother for that very stinks so's watchable

Steph:  if you like bad where is 90210 on that list??

Antonio:  Well, I like the other stuff, Steph...cheeseball shows like "History's Mysteries" with Arthur Kent, the former "Scud Stud" from the Gulf War.

Antonio:  He uses his hands way too much when he talks. It's a hoot.

Antonio:  I read a lot of history books. And Stuart Canterbury is a good friend who shares my lust for Shakespeare. We have lunch and spit quotes from "Henry V." We're pathetic.

Morrigan:  Shakespeare is not pathetic.

Antonio:  No. But we are when we quote him over corned beef.

Randy:  What's your drink of choice, Antonio?

Antonio:  I like beer and bourbon.

Morrigan:  together?

Darkmage:  I knew it! Antonio is a Shakespeare fan, and when he found out that the adult industry works with lesbians, he thought they said "thespians" and the rest is history!

Randy:  beer and bourbon together?

Antonio:  No. Boilermakers aren't for me. Mostly beer. And lots of mineral water.

Morrigan:  How do you feel about whiskey?

Antonio:  I like Kentucky Bourbon, though sometimes I go for Tennessee or Kentucky whiskey.

Darkmage:  Hey, there's a question... Why did you cut out the sex scene with Vicca from DMJ6? The one with the drummer? It was Vicca, wasn't it? Or was it Nikita?

Antonio:  The guy didn't really get all that hard and the scene was kind of weak. So I axed it.

Randy:  What's the most boring part of your job, Antonio?

Antonio:  The most boring part of the job is waiting for a pop that won't come.

Darkmage:  Is there any pressure to have a movie come in under a certain running length?

Randy:  Antonio: The most exciting?

Antonio:  All my movies have been over two hours and there has been no problem. I made a conscious effort to make NWH6 two hours.

AnthonyC:  Antonio, you can give me 4 hours and I wouln't complain!

Antonio:  The most exciting is getting a great shot I didn't anticipate, and making something happen in editing that we all laugh at. ...Like the Intermission in DMJ6.

Darkmage:  Which shot in particular? Or the whole scene?

Antonio:  The original cut on NWH6 came in at three hours and seemed like too much,

Morrigan:  too much? never

Randy:  no such thing as to much...that's what Fast Forward is for, right?

Antonio:  Darkmage....what scene/shot were you talking about?

Darkmage:  "Too much of a good thing is wonderful." - Mae West

AnthonyC:  Do you decide on the costumes for each scene?

Antonio:  That's my thinking. If you're bored, fast forward. If you dig it, I'll show yo all the footage if you like.

Antonio:  I pick the costumes and all the props and do the art direction and set design.

Randy:  And where do the costumes go when the movie is over? (Halloween is coming up y'know.)

Antonio:  We make a bonfire and dance naked around them.

Darkmage:  Sorry... You said that the most exciting moments are the ones you don't anticipate, like the intermission. Did you mean a particular image (like the pig tail handlebars) or the entire scene?

Antonio:  Either one, Darkmage.... it all depends.

Randy:  I like the little pink riding hood one w/ the beekeeper dude.

AnthonyC:  Cool... I'm interested in why you use gloves on the guys so much, (CF2, Raw)... It's something I personally really like to see but I wish they would keep them on until the end of each scene..., (strange request but what the hell!).

Antonio:  Ah, the Beekeeper.

Darkmage:  Hey here's a question... what the hell was up with the ventriloquist dummy during the g/g scene in hell?

Antonio:  It's hard to get either sex to keep the gloves on.

Antonio:  I had that dummy...Danny O' a kid. And I saw him in a prop house and thought how great it would be to defile his memory.

Morrigan:  ROFL

Antonio:  So I did.

Antonio:  I kept telling her, "Choke him! Hit him!" And she just looked at me.

Darkmage:  Hahahahahahaaaaa!!!!

AnthonyC:  Well, it seems it's easier to get girls to keep gloves on even though they're usually the ones jerking the guys off!

Antonio:  Well, the girls say, "I can't jerk him off right with these gloves." Don't ask me. I just direct this stuff.

AnthonyC:  Hmmm... fabric gloves are difficult but latex or thin leather gloves should work just fine...

Darkmage:  Yeah, but fabric gloves look better on screen.

Antonio:  Latex are the best. Just my opinion.

Randy:  I would think it was more difficult to get into some of those positions and stay that way for the right camera angle....and they're complaining about friggin' gloves?

AnthonyC:  True. I guess what I'm trying to say is... this is fantasy.. let's make it look like people would want to keep their gloves on even though it's tough for the actor/actress...

Darkmage:  Any thought/desire to shoot a film in a ratio other than 1.33 to 1?

Antonio:  Good point , Randy. Care to be a production manager?

Antonio:  I like widescreen with features, but it's been tough convincing them to do that for porn. I also prefer black and white to color, but that's a dead issue.

Antonio:  I like Playtex Living Gloves (see "Latex")

Steph:  maybe you could compromise with technicolor

Antonio:  Technicolor is my second favorite...oddly's so saturated. Too bad they don't make them anymore.

Randy:  My roommate's soap opera hour is over, she wants to go talk about it over a smoke...don't leave, please Mr. P.....even though the chat is BOUND to stop as soon as I leave the room. But if you do have to go while I'm away, just know i'm a big ole' fan of yours, and you make me 'prouf' to be a fan!

Antonio:  Thanks, Randy. I think I love you.

Randy:  awwwwww....shucks. now I REALLY need a smoke.

Antonio:  Partridge Family song, folks. Cue David Cassidy.

AnthonyC:  Antonio, will Funhouse be a stylized freakshow or something a bit more down to earth?

Antonio:  The former.

AnthonyC:  Excellent!

Morrigan:  Woo Hoo!

Antonio:  It's definitely different.

AnthonyC:  Can you give away any ideas for themes in any scenes, (maybe with gloves?) ;)

Darkmage:  I can see it now: "Step right up! See the freaks of the world, assembled for your viewing pleasure! See the Bearded Clam! The Trouser Snake!... etc."

Antonio:  I will try to throw in some gloves for you, Anthony. Big black meat cutter gloves.

Morrigan:  the "hot dog" lady

AnthonyC:  On the boys Antonio!

Antonio:  "The Amazing Skullfucker!"

Antonio:  Yeah, on the boys, Anthony. Just for you.

Morrigan:  hot, nasty clown sex

Antonio:  There is a clown in this show.

Antonio:  His name is Fucko.

Morrigan:  YES!

Antonio:  His cock is always out and he's drunk and hates women.

Morrigan:  Gee, sounds like every man I know, Antonio

AnthonyC:  And whilst you're at it... spit-shined black comabt boots with white sox to finish them off - and I'll have your babies! ;)

Antonio:  An homage to certain gonzo directors.

bad2dabone:  Antonio....did you contact my lawyer to buy the rights to my life story?

Antonio:  Yes. Cost me a nickel.

Steph:  i think white socks need to be removed from porn as a whole

Darkmage:  That and fake breasts...

AnthonyC:  I'll pay for them - seriously!!!

Antonio:  All men will wear white socks and all women will have enormous fake breasts in my next movie.

AnthonyC:  Cool. You are God.

Antonio:  I'm making a political statement.

Darkmage:  Yeah, and that statement is "beware"!

Steph:  don't forget the whore makeup - we love that

Darkmage:  And the big hair.

Steph:  long fake nails

Antonio:  Goes without saying.

Darkmage:  And the high heels in bed.

Morrigan:  15 rings on each finger....

Steph:  high heels never come off

AnthonyC:  And combat boots in bed...

Steph:  plastic madonna bracelets

Darkmage:  Could you find a couple actresses with enough facial piercings so it looks like they fell face first into a tackle box? I love women who have so much metal that they point north when resting.

AnthonyC:  Antonio... I think you need a website to get all this feedback. You've got so many fabulously demented fans, (myself included).

Antonio:  Be sure to catch me on "The Capital Gang" this weekend.

Steph:  so what's the capital gang?

Antonio:  Bad CNN joke. I apologize.

Steph:  i always miss jokes - part of my enchanting personnae

Antonio:  One of those political shows where four old guys sit around a table and argue about the inevitably inconsequential.

Darkmage:  The McLeher News Hour?

bad2dabone:  Antonio....who is your fave?..if you say Mark Shields..I'll be sorely disappointed?

Antonio:  Out of all the shows, and being an old NPR fan, and a former drug fiend, I'd say it would have to be Cokie Roberts.

Antonio:  I mean, who would name their kid "Cokie."

Antonio:  ?

Darkmage:  She's four men sitting around a table? Too much pasta, I guess...

Antonio:  "Hey Cokie, got any blow?"

Morrigan:  Your mama's so fat....

Morrigan:  ROFLMFAO

Darkmage:  ... she puts on her belt with a boomerang.

Antonio:  No, they pit her against Sam Donaldson. Which is almost as amusing.

Darkmage:  Ah. The ditz vs. the vampire.

bad2dabone:  Cokie came onto me at CES last year

Antonio:  Now THAT'S funny, Bad.

Morrigan:  you know, I never have seen him in the light of day....

Antonio:  Just picturing Cokie at the CES. With Ron Jeremy.

Darkmage:  Or her with a thought.

Morrigan:  stop that

bad2dabone:  Antonio....i knew if I kept trying..I'd say at least ONE funny thing tonight...hehe

Darkmage:  Hah! "C'mon Cokie! Count backwards from ten..."

Antonio:  Actually, Cokie is quite the brain. Nina Tottenburg, another NPR Washington wonk is also quite least her voice is.

Antonio:  But the hottest newswoman is Lynn Vaughn on CNN headline news. She can try to hide those enormous jugs, but I'm a trained professional....

Darkmage:  Nina's pretty good. I personally like Mark Plotkin. He's obsessed with DC voting rights, but he has shrewd analysis points.

Steph:  Antonio do i sense a news porno in your future?

Antonio:  And those cheeks and those lips. She's become a wanker phenomenon.

Randy:  Yeah! A news porno with a hot weather girl!

Antonio:  Sorry. I got carried away.

Darkmage:  Randy -

Randy:  I'll be visiting that one, Darkmage

Morrigan:  oh, yeah and the interns could blow the cameramen

bad2dabone:  call it...Presidential Kneepads

Morrigan:  and the film would be all jumpy

Antonio:  Today's forecast is wet and humid and dripping...oh wait, that's me!

Randy:  They always make jokes about what those news people wear under the desks....

Darkmage:  Or who is under the desks...

Morrigan:  oh, cunnilingus under the news desks, I like that

Antonio:  Or what.


Darkmage:  Good point. We need more sheep under the news desks.

Antonio:  Like a koala on ludes.

Randy:  "Let's turn to 'What's under the Weather-man?"

bad2dabone:  Morrigan...should I call Bernard Shaw for you and set something up?

Morrigan:  Heh, heh, heh

Antonio:  Hi, I'm Brent Sadler with the 7 o'clck news. I have my cock in a koala's mouth.

Darkmage:  Hah! It must be sweeps week.

Morrigan:  I'm crying, I'm laughing so hard

Darkmage:  "I'm not wearing any pants. Film at eleven."

Antonio:  Hi, I'm Bernard Shaw. Not the playwright. And there's a large Iraqui on top of me right now.

Darkmage:  Boy, talk about being between Iraq and a hard place...

Antonio:  Skinless penis. Film at eleven.

Darkmage:  {rim shot}

Antonio:  Tonight's chat was sponsored by Ballpark Franks. "They plump when you cook 'em."

Darkmage:  Also sponsored by Hoover brand vacuums. "They'll suck like nobody else."

Morrigan:  hey, If I were a guy, I would not put my hoo-hoo-diddly in the care of a vaccum cleaner

bad2dabone:  Morrigan..and if you were a wouldn't call it a hoo-hoo-diddly either

Antonio:  Hoo Hoo Diddly's? Aren't they from Hostess?

Randy:  i like hoo hoo diddly

Darkmage:  Right next to the Ding Dongs.

AnthonyC:  Antonio, do you think there is enough 'out-there' porn these days? It seems only you and Ninn can carry this stuff off or even have an interest in it?

Morrigan:  Cartman's Mom" Well honey, that's when the man puts his Hoo-hoo-diddly in the woman's cha-cha"

Antonio:  Well, what about all the vomitorium porn and the triple ass to mouth extravaganzas? Do those qualify as out there?

Steph:  triple ass to mouth qualifies as unhealthy

Morrigan:  felching...blech.

AnthonyC:  I mean out-there as in visually thoughtful as opposed to just gross stuff.

Antonio:  In some third world countries, it qualifies as "dinner.'

Darkmage:  Visually thoughtfull does not equate to "out there" in my not-so-humble-opinion.

AnthonyC:  Okay, maybe out-there was the wrong term. Call it camp/kitsch/fetish/comic/sci-fi - stuff that isn't afraid to be stupid if it's still erotic.

Antonio:  Doesn't anyone else make stuff like that?

Antonio:  I know Michael Zen from way back. Now he is a very creative guy. And very talented.

AnthonyC:  It's strange how Zen flits from straight to gay stuff. I think that gay video could learn a lot from straight directors like yourself.

Antonio:  I think Zen has insight into both worlds.

AnthonyC:  I love straight porn for its no-bullshit approach to roles. Even when a woman is in control we still know that she's going to suck his dick and get fucked. In gay porn, everything is so PC. Roles are switched at half time like a football game!

Antonio:  I'll make a point to do that.

Darkmage:  A football game? What, they all get in a circle and stick their asses in the air?

Antonio:  No. They pass the ball(s).

Steph:  don't forget the ass slappings

Darkmage:  And the tight ends.

AnthonyC:  It's just that there's no negociations to show in straight porn - although it's easier to portray coercion in gay porn.

Antonio:  I think you can get away with more there. You can't do they "daddy" thing in straight, unless your Max Hardcore.

Darkmage:  "negotiations" ??? You mean the back-and-forth in a bar to convince her to come home with you doesn't count?

Antonio:  Negotiating is ancient history.

AnthonyC:  Well, I guess I like the idea of a dominator and a subordinate in any scene - they'

AnthonyC:  They're just easier to depict in straight sex.

Randy:  I liked the back-and-forth in the bar w/ Chloe in "Bliss": "Buy my drink."

Steph:  then fuck me and get out

Antonio:  Yeah. Not much negotiating, which was my point as to how it's become.

Steph:  Randy that;s exactly the scene i was thinking of

Antonio:  Say hi. Turn the conversation to get sex. Get sex. Move on.

Darkmage:  Aha. In other words, the lost art of salesmanship.

Antonio:  Henry Ford would be proud.

Steph:  in other words chicks who aren't afraid to admit they want to get laid

Antonio:  Right. But I'm not so interested in the wanted to get laid as compared to the "why?"

Antonio:  And same with men.

Steph:  berkeley was very much a culture of women wanting to screw and guys wanting relationships

AnthonyC:  Motive is everything.

Antonio:  Things have switched.

Steph:  it's a good time to be alive :)

Antonio:  It's a great time to be a girl....

Antonio:  to quote some ad on Nickelodeon.

AnthonyC:  So a movie with the women in control deciding when to capture the guys and use as playthings?

Steph:  AnthonyC it's the vampiress theory

AnthonyC:  Steph, tell me more...

Antonio:  That, anthony, and the subsequent toll. There's a price for all of this useless beauty.

Antonio:  Wait, I meant, useless pleasure.

Darkmage:  And that is? Wait, let me guess...

AnthonyC:  Antonio, that would be a great title for a movie - 'Useless Beauty" !

Steph:  women sucking out men's vital joices, something, something, philosohpical something more

bad2dabone:  Useless Beauty....almost another elvis c song

Randy:  I like the phrase "useless beauty"....can i use that in some bad poetry some time, Antonio?

Antonio:  I'm afraid that's from Elvis C.

Steph:  useless beauty - she was too dumb to take her pants off

Randy:  drat.

Antonio:  All This Useless Beauty.

Randy:  all the good ones are taken.

AnthonyC:  Damn!

Antonio:  Grab it from Napster and give it a listen, kids!

Darkmage:  "useless beauty"... wow, that reminds me of a couple adult actresses...

Steph:  deformed beauty - plastic beauty - porn barbie

Antonio:  I've always wanted to make a porn film called "Vanity Factory."

AnthonyC:  Antonio, have you ever watched Cleopatra 2525? I'd swear that you and Ninn did the costumes/sets on that show!

Antonio:  Yeah, you might like "She," Randy/

Randy:  ha! I actually KNOW that song...and I DO like it.

Darkmage:  Downloading MP3 now...

Randy:  Antonio: Do you have any pets?

Antonio:  I have five cats and two rottweilers.

Darkmage:  five? that is a lot of pussy...

Randy:  no kidding!

AnthonyC:  Antonio, everyone... It's bedtime for me now here in NYC. Thanks everyone for being so much fun - it's my first chat here. Antonio, I hope you'll really consider the black latex gloves, combat boots and white sox for the boys in Funhouse, (and no other clothes!). I'll be following-up!

Steph:  AnthonyC come back next Wednesday

Randy:  What happens next wednesday?

Steph:  we chat

bad2dabone:  Randy...Steph tells stories of her white socks fetish next Wednesday

Steph:  we chat every wednesday - and often get surprise guests

Antonio:  Yeah, Bo Diddly is gonna be here next week.

Darkmage:  Hah!

Randy:  I don't care 'bout Bo Diddly...I want to know about the hoo-hoo-Diddly!

AnthonyC:  Hey that's why they wear the boots - so you just see the tops of the socks! ;)

Darkmage:  He and George Thorogood are going to jam while we mosh.

Antonio:  He's gonna do a jam with a reunion of Wham! They're gonna do "Wake me up before you blow me."

Antonio:  Bye, anthony. I'll remember the gloves, my man.

AnthonyC:  Thanks Antonio - you're the greatest!

Antonio:  Awwww. Get out.

Darkmage:  He did.

Randy:  He got out. Damn. You're good Antonio.

Antonio:  Behold the power of cheese.

Randy:  gouda cheese~

Darkmage:  But, it's nacho cheese. Give it back. :)

Antonio:  ba dum bum!

DrewBlackADT:  I like chese

Antonio:  It's good for the colon.

Darkmage:  So, now Antonio shoots a movie staring Cheesy Lain with those beautiful eyes...

DrewBlackADT:  good for the colon :) Have you ever seen the SNL skit for the breakfast cereal "Super Colon Blow"?

Antonio:  I was thinking more along the lines of "Barely Eighteen and Eating Cheese."

DrewBlackADT:  it takes 10,000 bowls of the leading brand to equal one bowl of Super Colon Blow

bad2dabone:  I once saw a girl with some great cheese nips once

Darkmage:  Goodnight, Antonio. It was a pleasure meeting you. I look forward to seeing your next film.

Antonio:  Darkmage, say hi to Strom Thurmond for me. Tell him his Depends are on the way.

Antonio:  And that Randy will give him a comfort bath.

Randy:  ah!

Antonio:  Take comfort!

Randy:  Take Comfort!

Randy:  That commercial cracks me up!

Antonio:  I need one of those about now.

Darkmage:  Ah. Television. That funny box with the lights on it.

Randy:  I have a bag of it....

Randy:  you're welcome to have it.

Randy:  darkmage: it's a radio commercial ;)

bad2dabone:  I'll tell Cokie you said hi the next CES

Antonio:  Thanks. That's Comfort-ing.

Darkmage:  Vaya con pornos!

Randy:  ooh...puns....(drool)

Antonio:  Yeah. Tell me if she swalloiws.

bad2dabone:  She long as Steve isn't there looking over her shoulder

Randy:  I have a question for you Antonio...

Randy:  Are you having fun tonight? Is this enjoyable?

Antonio:  Well, I'm a masochist....

Steph:  wouldnt want to put you on the spot or anything

Antonio:  No, it's been great. Better than the Jerry Lewis Telethon.

Steph:  can we use that in an ad ;)

Randy:  I feel all warm and happy inside now.

DrewBlackADT:  Antonio - will we see you in the message forum?

Antonio:  I read it for the first time today and I felt like Sally Field at the Oscars.

Randy:  crikey, im getting a ton of crapmail tonight.

DrewBlackADT:  crapmail, is that a derivative of black mail?

Antonio:  Ask Randy. She made it up.

Steph:  Randy = She?

Antonio:  I meant he.

Randy:  actually, you were right the first time...

Steph:  sex is confusing on the web

Randy:  I'm a she, but Randy is my boyfriend's name. He signed on, and I took over.

Steph:  i've been called a man many times

ROB:  ok atleast i'm not as confused now as i was when i came in

bad2dabone:  You aren't a man Stephen?

Antonio:  Wait, what sex am I?

Steph:  not for at least 5 years

Randy:  Antonio: I thought you were a marsupial?

herman:  you are a female

Steph:  well, if you really are that director guy...

Antonio:  I'm getting very confused.

Antonio:  Okay, I admit, this was a scam tonight. I'm the fat black lady who does the Pine-Sol commercials.

DrewBlackADT:  hahaha

Randy:  Oh my gosh, that's YOU!? I'm SUCH a big fan!

Randy:  Are you related to that lady that does the psychic friends network?

DrewBlackADT:  I thought you were the "Crisp and clean, no caffiene" guy from the 7up commercials

Antonio:  I'm the old guy with the crusty ass from the "Comfort Bath" commercials.

Steph:  you just wanted to say crusty ass

Antonio:  Passolini hired me to do this tonight. He's off shooting up in Motel 6 by the airport.

ROB:  motel 6 huh? cool lol

Antonio:  crusty ass=clipping problem

Steph:  there are shaving instructions in the forum

Randy:  really?

Randy:  Ooh.

Steph:  shaving tips from porn stars

Randy:  need to see those.

ROB:  you ppl are hilarious

Steph:  and you can't even see our faces

Antonio:  and we're not wearing pants.

Antonio:  and there's a fucked up koala under my desk.

DrewBlackADT:  thankt you. Our guest from teh Comfort Bath commercial is our inspriation

Antonio:  named Lou.

ROB:  antonio, then for you, i'm especially thankful i cant see

Randy:  koala's are cute.

Steph:  they bite

Randy:  so do i :)

Antonio:  Rub a little eucalyptus on your wing wang and it works magic with the little fuckers.

Steph:  now i see we've progressed to wing wang

... rambling nonsense ...

Randy:  Wait a sec...someone hasn't talked in a while... Mr. alive over there?

Antonio:  I'm just soaking up all the love in this room.

Randy:  I don't get to chat w/ celebrities often :)

bad2dabone:  he sent me a private message..said he was taking a cheese break

Antonio:  My colon just exploded. Had to get some Brawny towels.

DrewBlackADT:  hahah

Antonio:  Man, these things are fucking absorbent.

DrewBlackADT:  is Brawny 'the quicker picker-upper'? maybe that was Bounty

Antonio:  That's Bounty, man. Get it straight!

Randy:  I'm fond of the Jolly Green Giant.

Steph:  wha? that;s a vegetable guy

Randy:  Yeah, but he's cute.

* DrewBlackADT goes to the penalty box to feel shame for 2:00

Antonio:  He wears a toga made of leaves.

Antonio:  It's a chat room power play!

Steph:  a true woodsman

Antonio:  har

DrewBlackADT:  Antonio - are you a hockey player or just a fan?

Antonio:  Now THAT'S a funny question. The only exercise I get is eating cheese logs.

DrewBlackADT:  hence the colon explosion

Antonio:  But I do go to a lot of games. Does that count?

DrewBlackADT:  Ducks or Kings?

bad2dabone: get half credit

Antonio:  Hold on. Fed Ex is at the door with a Hickory Farms delivery.

Randy:  He's too much.

DrewBlackADT:  special delivery for the Comfort bath guy

Antonio:  Kings games, unfortunately. But it's still hockey, kind of.

Randy:  ive never been to a hockey game.

DrewBlackADT:  a lot better than nothing. There's always the visiting team.

Kapalua:  Antonio - why not the Ducks?

Antonio:  You should go. Get your boyfriend to take you.

Randy:  He's a moron.

DrewBlackADT:  Kings are closer to home is my guess

Antonio:  I'm not driving to Anaheim. Too many Republicans.

Kapalua:  haha it's a much safer area

bad2dabone:  Randy......why do you date a moron?

Antonio:  Morons love hockey, too.

Randy:  he makes me laugh.

bad2dabone:  good reason

DrewBlackADT:  I've bene to the Pond for a couple of games. The people don't pay attention there. Is a festival of politically correct yuppies

DrewBlackADT:  it just doesn't fit at a hockey game

Kapalua:  my only problem is the same one that I have with all sporting events...

Steph:  Kapalua too much beer not enough toilets?

Kapalua:  there is always some idiot who gets drunk and tries picking a fight with a fan of the opposite team

Antonio:  they have a good Nyquil concession stand at Staples.

Antonio:  hey steph...

Steph:  hey Antonio

Antonio:  Your selection of my DVD's is interesting...Why Black Throat and not the rest of the Dark Bros. titles? Or the stuff with Ninn?

bad2dabone:  uh oh....he's turning the tables in the questioning now

Antonio:  Although I did write and sing the title song to "Black Throat," which was my first venture into porn soundtracks, and it was covered by some band called Chemical People.

Steph:  i don't have a great reason - other than black throat doesn't get as much attention - and gamelink our chat sponsor put it on sale

Antonio:  They might ask that on Millionaire, which is why I mention it.

bad2dabone:  feel free to use me a phone a friend lifeline

Randy:  Antonio: You seem like a smart you think you could beat that game?

Steph:  it'd be more fun to beat regis

DrewBlackADT:  that would be great. I can see it now...."Antonio, this is Regis Philbin."

Antonio:  With a polo mallet.

bad2dabone:  Whose mother invented "WiteOut"?

Antonio:  Well, Michael Nesmith's mother invented Liquid paper.

Randy:  and he's from the Monkees

bad2dabone: got it

Antonio:  Now, for $1000, how many fingers am I holding up?

Randy:  ONE!

bad2dabone:  and you are is liquid paper..I just bought WiteOut today..and it was on my mind

Steph:  two

DrewBlackADT:  is that your final answer?

Randy:  no, just one...

Antonio:  The answer is one.

Randy:  i can guess which one, too.

Randy:  Where's my $1000?

and the chatting continued well into the night, with many LOLs, ROTFLMAOs and more absurdity. Randy never got his $1000, but Antonio did send Fedex over to his house with a special Hickory Farms delivery. Antonio, thanks for joining us, the memories, the laughter and most of all the movies. This cheese log's for you!

And thank you Gamelink for sponsoring this unique chat where the commercial breaks were put to subsistent use.

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